Open Poetry #1 |
stalk her |
KTrail99 Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14 |
I see you, walking past I smell your sweet scent You're better than the last You must have been heaven sent You could not comprehend That I have selected You to be mine, to the end Or at least, till you are dead In the darkness I observe Your smile, your frown, your entire life I soon will give you what you deserve You will complete me, and be my wife The need builds till there is only one release Tonight? Tomorrow? Definitely soon I will take you, have you, and be at peace I will meet you under the moon I take you, you are shocked You never suspected I knew the door was unlocked Life as you knew it is completed You do not love me As much as I do you It was wrong of me to see That you did not care what I do I was so mistaken You are not the one I should not have taken My obsession with you is done I say my good-byes Leave you like I found you Unhappy in the lies You will not live to rue No evidence of my passage No one to witness me I leave you, with the old adage There are always more fish in the sea I am searching For the one for me She will be better looking You will just have to wait and see I see you, walking past I smell your sweet scent You're better than the last You must have been heaven sent |
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© Copyright 1999 KTrail99 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
thats coool.. sounds like some guys I know.. I like how at the end, you start off the obsession again.. nice touch! ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
I must respectfully disagree, I do not find this poem cool. There has been a trend in this forum which I find somewhat disconcerting which is highlighted by this poem. I realize this post is contrary to the general responses given and fully believe in freedom of expression. However, even if this poem is another vampire effort, I find it denegrating to women. If I have offended anyone's feelings, I aplogize. |
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KTrail99 Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14 |
Tim, These are not my views of women, nor do I condone them. I find this poem to be as disturbed and disturbing as you do. YET!! As you said, we all have a freedom of expression. I thank you for your input, and hope you enjoy some of my less disturbing prose. |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Yikes! Definitely well-written, but scary!!! I'm gonna make sure I keep my door locked!!! Good job! ------------------ ~one voice~ *You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.* |
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snuffleupagus Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 11 |
Very thrilling. You could be the next Thomas Harris of poetry. I have noticed a dark trend in the forum, but imagination and creativity explore all realms of emotions and feelings. well done. |
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KTrail99 Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14 |
Thanks snuffleupagus, that is a real compliment being compared with a writer like Harris. *kotl* |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
if poetry stirs up controversy, than it is doing its job i thoroughly enjoyed this piece, a spinetingler ------------------ Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart... |
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