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Open Poetry #1

Methuselah's Face

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 1999-07-11 02:53 AM

My Methuselah's face
Dripping formaldehyde
And I can't leave this place
Until your satisfied

I'll never put much weight
Into this phenomenon
Just so you can create
Sure that you want me gone

Your desperate I live
I only live to die
And I cannot forgive
Not getting a try

Broken in stitches
Among this sadness
Burning the witches
Prolongs the madness

You feel the tissue
It's futility’s scar
Making you wish you
Hadn't taken so far

A lonely hearts dream
You can't hope to replace
One day you'll wake up
With Methuselah's face

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 07-11-99).]

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-11 04:20 AM

Great one, Walt. Keep reaching for the Darkness.

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I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say.
DreamEvil©

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

2 posted 1999-07-11 04:44 AM

I love your style, walt! These dark ones always inspire me!

------------------
~one voice~

For Myself, I live,
Live intensely and am fed by life,
and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James

brockglaze
Junior Member

since 1999-07-13

Posts 21
Muncie,Indiana,USA

3 posted 1999-07-16 11:17 AM

Nice, very nice, it makes you think!

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Brock J. Glaze

Gentle Soul
Member

since 1999-07-12

Posts 273
Vinton,Ohio USA

4 posted 1999-07-16 11:30 AM

I like it! I wish I could develope a flow like that

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Gënt£ë¤§°û£

quote99
Junior Member

since 1999-07-14

Posts 17
US

5 posted 1999-07-16 11:35 AM

Am I crazy or is this poem way off in the meter and rhyme?

"Your desperate I live
I only live to die
And I cannot forgive
Not getting a try"

Can you explain what this means? I don't get it!!!!

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

6 posted 1999-07-16 11:44 AM

yes i have been guilty of bad meter here lately to this i apologize and will work diligently to correct thank you for the critique

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