Open Poetry #1 |
devotion |
elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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© Copyright 1999 elvira - All Rights Reserved | |||
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Once again, the faithful servant suffers for a better life that isn't hers. Do detect a theme? Well done, my lady. Thanks for looking in on "A Soldier's Life," perhaps "Debut" would be more to your taste. |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No, Elvira. Your poems are in the right forum. Don't you dare leave this forum!! I'll hunt you down and demand more!!!!!! |
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Aly Junior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 35 |
I like it, very strong! It seemed like it needed to be finished though. I thinku should write more! p.s.that's just my opinion |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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CastleHoward Junior Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 20 |
Disagreeing with Aly, I think it's nicely finished off: the whisper is a nice touch... And, who knows, perhaps the Master really does love that serving wench and just can't admit it... while she adores such worthy attention. You capture those stolen moments of love and admiration nicely, elvira |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).] |
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