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last night
| Open Poetry #1 |
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last night |
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mia Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118 |
i could only see your eyes like oceans of blue leaking between the cracks in my heart i could only feel your hands like running rivers flowing on the land that became my body i could only hear your breath like soft waves caressing the shores of my neck and again last night i forgot pain to let myself drown in the sea that was you ----------------------------- You guys are really good and it can be pretty intimidating. i'm not any good at rhyming and stuff and so i prefer to just let the words flow as they come- kind of like modern art right? Maybe some of you could give some constructive criticism, since i'm just here to learn and to release my soul...but be gentle because i have a fragile heart... thanks Mia |
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| © Copyright 1999 mia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Emmy Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194KY |
What beautiful imagery! I could picture everything... Your poetry is wonderful; an example of "modern art" at it's best. And don't let yourself me intimidated by the rest of us, for we are only as good as you make us. Your fragile heart shall not be broken.  Perhaps YOU could teach ME something about free verse... I don't do it very often; most of my poetry is rhyming. If you would, please read "And The Hourglass Turns" and tell me what you think, since you seem to be so wonderful at that style. A job well done... and welcome to the family! |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
your free verse is mirror to your soul. allow it to open and the rhymn will come from your thoughts not necessarily from the actual words. blueloon |
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