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Open Poetry #2
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LOST IN LOVE
New Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 3
COLUMBIA PA USA

0 posted 1999-09-15 11:51 PM


I WOULD CLIMB THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN
IF IT MEANT JUST ONE MORE KISS
I WOULD SWIM THE DARK BLUE SEA
IF ONLY TO LIVE IN HEAVENLY BLISS

I WOULD ISOLATE MYSELF FROM THE WORLD ABOVE
IF IT MEANT THAT I WAS YOUR ONE AND ONLY
TRUE LOVE

I WOULD QUIT MY JOB,MOVE FAR AWAY,
YOU SEE POSSESIONS MEAN NOTHIN TO ME
BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU HOW COULD I LIVE
ANOTHER DAY

YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAR I WOULD GO TO FEEL YOUR
WARM EMBRACE
AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAR I WOULD GO TO TOUCH
YOUR LITTLE BOY FACE

I DONT KNOW HOW FAR I WOULD GO,
AND ALTHOUGH IT MAY SOUND SAD
IT IS VERY TRUE
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TRULY EXPRESS
MY LOVE FOR YOU




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© Copyright 1999 LOST IN LOVE - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-09-16 12:07 PM


tHE SUBJECT MATTER AND IDEA BEHIND THIS WAS VERY GOOD, BUT YOU WENT FROM ONE TYPE OF WRITING INTO ANOTHER AND FROM ONE RHYME AND RHTHYM SCHEME TO ANOTHER...TO ME THAT HIGHLY DISTRACTED FROM THE POEM. I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF REVISING THIS A BIT WITHOUT CHANGING ANY OF YOUR ORIGINAL MEANING...JUST A SUGGESTION

I WOULD CLIMB THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN
IF IT MEANT JUST ONE MORE KISS
I WOULD SWIM THE DARK BLUE SEA
JUST TO LIVE IN HEAVENLY BLISS

I WOULD ISOLATE MYSELF
FROM THE WORLD ABOVE
IF IT WAS TO MEAN THAT I
WAS YOUR ONE AND ONLY LOVE

I WOULD QUIT MY VERY JOB,
MOVE MILES AND MILES AWAY,
POSSESIONS THEY MEAN NOTHIN TO ME
I NEED YOU TO LIVE MY DAY

YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAR I'D GO
TO FEEL YOUR WARM EMBRACE
AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAR I'D GO
TO TOUCH YOUR SOFT BOY FACE

I DONT KNOW HOW FAR I'D GO,
ALTHOUGH IT'S SAD IT'S TRUE
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN
EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR YOU



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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

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