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Goodbye
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Goodbye |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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Goodbye Cast all your fickle doubts away, -and tell me no more useless lies. No patience now for what you say, -I will no longer hear your cries. Look deep inside your torpid soul, -you find one single time I lied. I never did, the truth's my goal, -yet for you I've always cried. Yes, I sense the betrayal's deep, -but it's never been me lying. Only you, with words that creep, -that you cover with your crying. A faithless heart, you push on me, -you've no remorse for any lie. So kiss me once, for now, you see, -this is the last time that I'll cry. [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 09-15-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Slam! There was a heart getting crushed by betrayal. I agree with your verse wholeheartedly. May Darkness shine through to illuminate your ruminations. ------------------ Pain is life, life is short, I will endure. DreamEvil© [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 09-15-99).] |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
You tell it like is, Christopher! I love it!  ------------------ ~onevoice~ "Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior." |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Well said!!! Good poem!! Justbleu ------------------ "Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???" |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
(Last time you'll cry...?) This is great, Chris - excellently structured and I love 'words that creep'. I also think that ending on a different version of cry in each stanza is very clever; yes, I can really feel the anger in this. But you're not allowed to tell me that I'm bad for writing without hope. So there [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 09-15-99).] |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wow, Christopher...I can feel this. You're not the only one to have felt this way. Great job-you've described it well. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Christopher, what a well written pice of poetry, so true in it's form ------------------ "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
DE, I value your response, coming as I know it does, with sincerity! Onevoice,justbleu- thank you, I am humbled severn- K.... I never said anything about me writing this way, only that you can't! elizabeth, hoot_owl- thank you, and hoot, tis rare someone praises me on my form! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! Good one Christopher! ------------------ Denise |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I like this. A |
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