The clocks in whirlpools spin the hours...

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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-09-12 01:05 AM

The clocks in whirlpool spin the hours
My heart is drowning in this flood
I hear the whispers from the flowers
“She loves you not, she loves you not”

My pen is leaking on the paper
The ink just flows into a dot
I hear the whispers growing greater
“She loves you not, she loves you not”

I’m having problems simply breathing
There’s a virus in my blood
The stubborn flowers keep repeating
“She loves you not, she loves you not”

But here we are, she stands beside me
And in her eyes I see enough
I hear a voice which cries inside me
“I found my love, I found my love”

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I fell in love and kept on falling

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-09-12 01:21 AM

Another nicely done piece of poetry Master, although I have come to expect nothing less when I see your name presented. Interesting couple of lines here...although it would be hard for me by far to narrow down which lines I liked the best in this one...these two, by far, are the most intriguing
"The clocks in whirlpool spin the hours
My heart is drowning in this flood"
The Image of time flying past so fast that the hands on the clock liken themselves to a whirlpool and then you carry over that theme of the whirlpool (hence water) into the next line by saying "drowning in the flood". Masterfully done!!!

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"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anais Nin

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 1999-09-12 02:29 AM

Stop Hoot, I'm blushing! I enjoy your work also.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

3 posted 1999-09-12 10:37 AM

Thanks Master...Shall I call the first meeting of the mututal admiration society to order

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"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anais Nin

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

4 posted 1999-09-12 11:35 AM

You do that... thanks Hoot!

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

5 posted 1999-09-12 11:51 AM

you have another admirerer Master...I look forward to all your pieces...aother beautiul poem , well written

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 1999-09-12 12:05 PM

This is very good! I like the reuse of that one line - very effective.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

7 posted 1999-09-12 01:49 PM

Thanks Pepper and Poet! I'm glad you liked it.

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I fell in love and kept on falling

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-09-12 02:07 PM

A very captivating piece, indeed! Well done!

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Denise

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

9 posted 1999-09-12 02:15 PM

Thanks Denise, I appreciatte your comments.

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I fell in love and kept on falling

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

10 posted 1999-09-12 10:19 PM

Another great one, Master! A nice happy ending...

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*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

11 posted 1999-09-12 11:56 PM

Thanks Elizabeth, and I love happy endings.

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I fell in love and kept on falling

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