You're Sorry? (Inspired by Miriam)

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Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

0 posted 1999-09-10 05:16 PM

I feel so confused,
emotionally beaten and used.
You say you apologize,
but why don't you realize-
that you are so cruel and mean.
When will you demolish your steam?
You say you've put your anger away,
only for it to explode at me another day.
I have so many bruises within,
even now upon my skin.
You have mangled my heart,
and feel like I can't have a new start.
Your words are cheap,
it is your actions you reap.
Who can believe a soul,
that has no goal?
Your resentment you hide,
till the day I no longer abide.
Your hatred shows,
so I end up taking the blows.
You've said this a thousand times,
only to commit new crimes.
Why should I have faith now?
When I know, you don't know how,
to find peace in your heart,
so we may never part.
What do these words mean to you,
It is as common to us as glue.
So when will sorry begin?
When you don't need to say it again.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
Marianne Williamson

jfreak
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA

1 posted 1999-09-10 05:22 PM

Well it is a very well written poem about such a decrepit thing as spousal abuse or abuse by a boyfriend whatever it may be. I know, I grew up in that. Watched my father beat on my little biddy momma all of my childhood and my early teens. The main thing to make sure of is that you hold no hatred or resentment towards him. Forgiveness is the key. Holding anything against him will not allow you to heal. God bless.

Jfreak

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

2 posted 1999-09-10 05:32 PM

Thank you, Jfreak. It meant a lot for your
kind words of wisdom.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
Marianne Williamson

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

3 posted 1999-09-10 05:34 PM

Julie

Sounds like you're in trouble...you ok?

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

4 posted 1999-09-10 05:40 PM

I'm ok..RG. I have you guys!

Guess you could say I'm having a real bad day.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
Marianne Williamson

[This message has been edited by Julie (edited 09-10-99).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 1999-09-10 10:41 PM

Julie, this was a very good poem. But if you are living in a dangerous situation (I hope you're not) Take my advice. GET OUT. Forgiveness is the key to healing that's true. But when someone is living like this the most pressing concern is safety. Again, I hope this is not autobiographical. Anyone who is in this situation, PLEASE, get safe.
It's hard, but well worth it. You deserve to lead a normal life and you deserve to live,period. I've lived through this and am lucky to be alive (blessed, actually!) so I know from experience what this is all about!

Again, Julie, I hope you are just very perceptive of this problem. I am concerned because you describe it so well. Keep in touch.

------------------
Denise

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

6 posted 1999-09-11 11:22 PM

And the last two lines say it all! Again, very well done!

------------------
Denise

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

7 posted 1999-09-11 11:55 PM

My dear Julie, I hope that this is not happening to you! But I fear it is! Forgiveness is key to healing, but you need to take yourself out of that situation. I have been there, it only gets worse. I know you may feel trapped with no where to go, but my dear there are places for you to go. Hon, you deserve so much better, NO ONE deserves to get beat on! God always leaves a door and a way out. It is up to us to take that way out. You are a strong person and forgiveness I know is a difficult thing at the moment. Right now its pain and hurt!!!!
Over time forgiveness will come, but please Hon get yourself out of that. You deserve to be treated better! You deserve more, God gave you life to live it happily. And I speak from experience that if this is happening, you are not happy! If you need to talk please, please, email me.

God Bless you, you shall be in my prayers.
May God give you strength!!!!!!!!!!!!

moonmoon
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 277
TX , USA

8 posted 1999-09-11 11:59 PM

((hugs)) Julie.. A well written poem too..

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

9 posted 1999-09-12 12:12 PM

Julie, my email doesn't work yet (I can receive but not send), but you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

------------------
Denise

DBeth
Member

since 1999-09-09

Posts 110
providence,ky.42450

10 posted 1999-09-12 01:26 AM

Julie, you need to find somewhere to go for the night to let things cool down.Then tomorrow you can think much clearer on what to do next. Your in my thoughts.Don't let him bring you down.Big---Big---Big---HUGS!

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Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

11 posted 1999-09-12 05:45 PM

Thank you all for your support. I think
I overemphasized physical abuse. It is
a heart that is bruised and broken, not my bones. I thank you all for being here for me. Maybe one day I will get the chance to be here for each of you.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Today a man discovered gold and fame,
Another flew the stormy seas;
Another set an unarmed world aflame,
One found the germ of a disease.
But what high fates my path attend;
For I-today-I found a friend.
>Helen Barker Parker

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

12 posted 1999-09-12 05:53 PM

Whew! Well, that's a relief! So glad that you are not in any physical danger! I hope things work out for you. Emotional pain is also abuse. Which no ones deserves to have to put up with if it's never ending. My prayers are with you! God bless! And again, those last two lines are dynamite!

------------------
Denise

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

13 posted 1999-09-12 07:59 PM

I am glad to hear that Julie. whew! That is a relief! I am glad you are ok. So to speak!!!

miriam
Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 323
glendale,ca.

14 posted 1999-09-12 11:41 PM

i feel so honored!!!! I love your poem and i'm glad you can share it with us. I read somewhere once that " the heart has not lived until it has felt pain". I'm sorry that this happened to you..i'm sorry it happened to both of us. But you know what?! don't you think it's made you stronger? We are worth a lot more than what these guys think we are. I love him dearly and he knows this but he also knows that what he did to me was wrong. anyway, im blabbing on. if you want to talk you know my email. Chin up my dear and move on to something worth your heart. He is out there believe it or not.

love you,
miriam

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

15 posted 1999-09-12 11:45 PM

First, let me say your poem was excruciatingly good. By the time I'd read it and the subsequent replies, I'd come to the conclusion that all of you who've expressed concern are such wonderful people! To care so much is amazing! I can't tell you how glad I am that you are ok, Julie! And I can't tell you how glad I am that all of you special people have joined us at Passions! Thank you for caring!

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