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Open Poetry #2
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A Life Betrayed
| Open Poetry #2 |
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A Life Betrayed |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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You were cold and strange - a place unknown So unlike that place he called his own; Not a hint of 'him' in any room Yes, strange indeed - your rooms of gloom; Just as though he had not ever been Your soul, your heart that beat within No, his presence was not anywhere Ev'ry bit of 'him' was ravaged there; His essence sold - or just thrown away Yes, cold indeed - that winter day A place of gloom - a granite tomb Not a hint of 'him' in any room. ...Another piece of us died that day. ... Oh, I wept too - on that winter day When his essence was just wrenched away For he was my soul - the heart of me That beat within - yes I agree Yes, his presence had filled ev'ry room Now I'm just a shell - rooms of gloom Just a granite tomb - a place decayed For my heart and soul have been betrayed Yes, I cried too that winter day When my soul, my heart were ripped away Yes, ev'ry bit of 'him' ravaged there; Not a hint of 'him' - left anywhere. ...Yes, I cried too and I died that day. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stoney1 Junior Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 12Wooster, Ohio, Wayne |
Very good piece. I sometimes feel the same way. Thank you for sharing it with us.  I am glad that I found this site. You and many others have inspired me to write again, Thank you.------------------ Harold Amstutz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Another nice piece from you Denise ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Denise, so sad and so beautifully written..... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Gee, another great poem from Denise. They're so hard to find....they only exist in everything she writes. Excellent, once again..and, yes, you ARE brilliant. |
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susieQ_luccier New Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 9central illinois |
very good denise ! I could relate to this poem. thank you! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Excellent verse, my dear. I thank you for sharing. ------------------ Pain is life, life is short, I will endure. DreamEvil© |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ditto above, above, above! Well done! |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Beautifully versed! It is sad when a person we love disappears as you described. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Marianne Williamson |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I'm so glad that I have someone to share my poems with! And I'm especially glad that you enjoy them! Thanks again! ------------------ Denise |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
How I wish I could get my poetry to flow the way yours does! You write brilliantly D! ------------------ The only man worth your tears will never make you cry... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Caroline, you are so kind! Thank you so much! I find that when I try to write something, I usually make a quick mess of it. Most of what I have written came out of deep emotional distress and I had to write or -BURST! Maybe that has something to do with it, I don't know. But I am truly grateful for your reading them and your kind comments! ------------------ Denise |
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Angel Rand Member
since 1999-09-04
Posts 134London UK, and Zurich Switzerland |
Wow!! I soooo can relate to this!! Hope you feel better... in my case there is always that "room" inside. I keep it locked but sometimes it just bursts open on me... But it's comforting to know I am not the only one like that. TY for sharing! Angel |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Angel. I'm glad that you liked it! I wrote this after my dad passed away. This was my impression of going to his house after the funeral. I have lost loved ones before, but this was very different. When my mom passed away, we felt her 'essence' in the house for months afterwards. This time, there was nothing. Everything of 'him' was already sold or thrown away by the time us kids got there. (right after the funeral) I'll never understand it as long as I live, but,yes,the pain is not as strong as it was last year. Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble! Thanks again for reading and commenting! It is very much appreciated! ------------------ Denise |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Another great one, Denise. Geez, why do I always seem to reply after you've thanked everyone? Oh well, anyway it was very well written and very very emotional. It is fitting for all of those who have lost a loved one. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks Elizabeth. This is one of my 'heartbreak' pieces that we spoke of last week. I'm glad you're not sorry that you said you'd like to see some of them!  ------------------ Denise |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
'Course not! If you don't mind reading my poetry, I am more than happy to read yours! ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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