Open Poetry #2 |
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Immortal Wife |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095![]() |
As I hide behind shadows On this rocky New Orleans Street My eyes are transfixed to beauty And this beauty I shall meet Her walk, so graceful and so fine Her skin like porcelain Her warm blood shall be my wine And it shall be time and again I hear her name is Evelyn This mortal night shall be her last Her soul to exist in my heaven A hypnotic trance I will cast She will become my immortal wife I will love her to infinity The darkness will be her life She will crave for her duty I approach her, My Angel And take her with such gentless Ahhh sweet Angel You're now my Angel of Darkness She stares at me bearly alive Shedding a sorrowful tear Trying so hard to survive These words she mutters with fear Damn You, Damn you into hell Her eyes without life I'd much rather die Than be your immortal wife. ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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© Copyright 1999 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
This is quite the haunting tale you've spun. Of course, I'm biased as vampires are my favorite supernatural menace. ------------------ Pain is life, life is short, I will endure. DreamEvil© |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you Dream,Vampire's have my attention too ![]() |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
DA, this was really good! A little on the dark side. lol But very well done! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thanks WhtDove, yes tis a little on the Dark side ![]() ![]() ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Good story, with a unforseen ending! And out of curiosity, if you dub yourself Dark Angel, how is it that this is your first peice of darkness? |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thanks Christopher for your comment ![]() I dub myself Dark Angel, for I love reading up on Vampires,anything to do with Vampires,and yes it is true, this is my first piece of Darkness, believe it or not ![]() ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Intersting piece...I liked it!! Definatley dark...I wouldn't mind reading more!! Justbleu ------------------ "Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???" |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Justbleu, thanks again ![]() ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Nicely written....the ending takes one by surprise ------------------ Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same. Thank you all for leaving footprints!! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Although I'm not into the vampire thing, I liked the way this was written...perhaps you should do a 'trilogy' on this? ![]() |
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Lorelei Junior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 23Philadelphia, PA |
I'd just like to say that I enjoyed it very much, the ending caught me by surprise, I even laughed. I am also fascinated with vampires, next to mythology, it is my favorite subject to read up on. And as for the comment where you said you're not sure if there'd be more like this one, I hope not! I look forward to reading more of you work. |
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Ladycat![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
I absolutely love vampires and this piece made me think of Vampire the Masquerade and also Kindred the Embraced. It made me think of the so many times that I have role played.. I'm sure that is not exactly what you wanted to hear.. What I'm trying to say is that your piece sparked fond memories.. Thank you.. Love, Lady "Sometimes at night the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
hoot, thank you so much, I appreciate your comment ![]() ------------- Glad you liked it Poet ![]() ![]() ------------- Happy to hear you enjoyed it Lorelei, Mythology fascinates me too,since school days Thank you for your lovley comment ------------- Thank you so much Ladycat ![]() ![]() ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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