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Open Poetry #2
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 1999-09-09 02:36 AM


As I hide behind shadows
On this rocky New Orleans Street
My eyes are transfixed to beauty
And this beauty I shall meet

Her walk, so graceful and so fine
Her skin like porcelain
Her warm blood shall be my wine
And it shall be time and again

I hear her name is Evelyn
This mortal night shall be her last
Her soul to exist in my heaven
A hypnotic trance I will cast

She will become my immortal wife
I will love her to infinity
The darkness will be her life
She will crave for her duty

I approach her, My Angel
And take her with such gentless
Ahhh sweet Angel
You're now my Angel of Darkness

She stares at me bearly alive
Shedding a sorrowful tear
Trying so hard to survive
These words she mutters with fear

Damn You, Damn you into hell
Her eyes without life
I'd much rather die
Than be your immortal wife.

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



© Copyright 1999 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-09-09 02:46 AM


This is quite the haunting tale you've spun. Of course, I'm biased as vampires are my favorite supernatural menace.

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Pain is life, life is short, I will endure.
DreamEvil©



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 1999-09-09 02:48 AM


Thank you Dream,Vampire's have my attention too
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 1999-09-09 08:34 AM


DA, this was really good! A little on the dark side. lol But very well done!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 1999-09-09 08:55 AM


Thanks WhtDove, yes tis a little on the Dark side something different for me,first time and I enjoyed writing it . Thanks again

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
5 posted 1999-09-10 01:52 AM


Good story, with a unforseen ending!
And out of curiosity, if you dub yourself Dark Angel, how is it that this is your first peice of darkness?

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 1999-09-10 02:13 AM


Thanks Christopher for your comment
I dub myself Dark Angel, for I love reading up on Vampires,anything to do with Vampires,and yes it is true, this is my first piece of Darkness, believe it or not Except for a short story I wrote about a year ago. I don't even know if you'd call it Dark. Not even sure if there will be more to come.

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
7 posted 1999-09-15 01:32 AM


Intersting piece...I liked it!!

Definatley dark...I wouldn't mind reading more!!

Justbleu

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"Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???"

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 1999-09-15 02:52 AM


Justbleu, thanks again

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
9 posted 1999-09-23 12:41 PM


Nicely written....the ending takes one by surprise

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Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 1999-09-23 12:50 PM


Although I'm not into the vampire thing, I liked the way this was written...perhaps you should do a 'trilogy' on this?

Lorelei
Junior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 23
Philadelphia, PA
11 posted 1999-09-23 12:56 PM


I'd just like to say that I enjoyed it very much, the ending caught me by surprise, I even laughed. I am also fascinated with vampires, next to mythology, it is my favorite subject to read up on. And as for the comment where you said you're not sure if there'd be more like this one, I hope not! I look forward to reading more of you work.
Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX
12 posted 1999-09-23 02:02 AM


I absolutely love vampires and this piece made me think of Vampire the Masquerade and also Kindred the Embraced. It made me think of the so many times that I have role played.. I'm sure that is not exactly what you wanted to hear.. What I'm trying to say is that your piece sparked fond memories.. Thank you..

Love,
Lady
"Sometimes at night the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 1999-09-23 03:45 AM


hoot, thank you so much, I appreciate your comment
-------------
Glad you liked it Poet "trilogy" hmm wil lthink about it
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Happy to hear you enjoyed it Lorelei, Mythology fascinates me too,since school days
Thank you for your lovley comment
-------------
Thank you so much Ladycat I'm glad that it sparked fond memories

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



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