»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #2
»
If I'd Have Only Known ( a different format)
| Open Poetry #2 |
|
If I'd Have Only Known ( a different format) |
|
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
|
If I’d Have Only Known If I’d have only known That you would go away I would have told you sooner That I wanted you to stay I would have showed you how important You were to me each day If I’d have only known If I’d have only known Your childhood wouldn’t last And how someday I’d find myself Clinging to the past I wouldn’t have wished our lives away Or let time go so fast If I’d have only known If I’d have only known How one thing leads to another How in this crazy world of ours It’s brother against brother And that you'd risk your very life Just to save some other If I’d have only known If I’d have only known Flag on your coffin draped around With a twenty-one gun salute Amidst its thundering sound While my tears and rain drops fell They’d sink you in the ground If I’d have only known If I’d have only known How everything would go When you went away to war Just two short years ago I would have made sure to tell you How much I loved you so If I’d have only known ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 09-07-99).] |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
Hoot, I really liked this style. You did well with it. Good Job! |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot, We understand And if we had only known We would have lent a hand. Enjoyed the poem. Good job. |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Hoot this was really good! Makes ya stop and think why they say live every moment as if it were your last! Thank you for reminding me Hon! I loved it! |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Lucie< seymore and WhtDove...thank you all so much. I thought I'd give a shot at something different while passing on a good message at the same time...wasn't quite sure how it would work. The message...time is to short to waste and we can't control the future so let those you love know that while you can. ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
great poem..made me think twice. My boyfriend is in the Army. thanks for the warm hear. |
||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
What a great poem and message. This made me think about the people I care about. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Mariam and Elizabeth, thank you both Mariam...I wish you well with your boyfriend ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Greetings Lady Hoot! A fine bit of work... I like the repetative message and the style. When I read this it gave me the feeling of a period piece aimed at the Civil War, where it was "brother against brother" and so many young men, no more than children, died. Was this your intent or just my reading into it? |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is an excellent form. Beginning and ending each stanza with the same line is very powerful and hits hard, as long as the line is good. Yours definitely is. Isn't poetry fun? |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Andrew...that is basically what I had in mind...but this could be set in any time including the present. Isn't all war brother against brother since we are all brothers of sorts?? Balladeer...thank you and in answer to your question...poetry is fun yes, but even more importantly poetry is life, depth, and realization...it is through our verses that we speak and if we are so fortunate to get our message across, we have done well by ourselves and by others. ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beautifully written, a timely reminder to us all to do what I try to do each day, live each day like it's the last, and say all that needs to be said. Don't wait, do it while you can. You may not get another chance. It's a hard thing to live with at times, but our loved ones know..... ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great message and format!  ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 09-07-99).] |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you Denise and Isis ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
a wonderful piece..... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||