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abortion
| Open Poetry #2 |
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abortion |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
A voice inside me cries out, "why did you do it" you ask. I didn't know what being a mother was about, Everyday I grieve your loss. I wonder what you would've looked like? Would you have my smile? Or would you be like your father... The love that only lasted a while. I was given a choice at three months, To bring you into this world, Or to send you back to the one above. I'm sorry for not showing you love. Many people tell me to walk with my head high, To learn from my mistakes and move on. I'll do whatever you want, Just please stop asking why. I didn't know the answer back then And I don't know it now. I know the guilt will never go away, I know the pain is here to stay. I love you my unborn child...happy fourth birthday. -Thank You PPF- ------------------ miriam coronado [This message has been edited by miriam (edited 09-06-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 miriam coronado - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Lady!..Listen here for just a moment...you can't keep beating yourself with the same bat...You did what you thought was right at that time, you could have done no more...maybe, one day, you'll have the chance to have another child...and all you can then do is love him or her with everything you have...Believe me, I do know the haunting moments as do others on here..and anytime you need to talk, I'm here.. Big HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
RainbowGirl...i don't know what to say...Thank you. ------------------ miriam coronado |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Sweetheart No thanks are needed...like I say, I know a little of what you talk about...it's much better to talk things through than it is to bottle them up...that never does anyone any good and if I can help, I'm glad to be able to do so..  HUGS [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-06-99).] |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Miriam, I agree with Rainbow....I also believe that we can grow from the troubles that life throws our way....a very sensitive and emotional piece and I thank you for sharing..... |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Miriam, What COURAGE you have! Although I didn't make this choice. I was once faced with a simular situation that has stayed with me to this day. I too, have a child I will never see, I gave her birth, and set her free. Find comfort in the Lord, for he did not know you weren't ready to be, a mother till eternity. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Marianne Williamson |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Miriam,this is an emotional poem. I agree with RG and the others, That was the right decision at that time. so hold you head up high love |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
A very emotional piece. Life goes on and we can choose to move with it or live in the past, but there is nothing we can do to change the past...only the future. We do what we think we must at the time...hindsight is always 20/20 ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
i never thought that this piece was going to attract so much atttention. thank you all for your support. julie...my sentiments and prayers go out to you. email if you ever want to talk. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The pain of this must run so deep. I can only imagine. We've all done things that we regret. None is worse than another. God is a forgiving God and His peace is for sinners, not saints. God bless you! ------------------ Denise |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Ditto...Miriam. Isn't it GREAT, how we lift each other up. There's no place like home (PIP). |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
thank you all for your kind words. i can't remember the last time that someone comforted me about this matter. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Miriam....I sit here with tears in my eyes, making it hard to type! I knew you could do it - this is absolutely beautiful, and so heartfelt. I knew this crowd would applaude your courage....you have touched my heart, and made me proud - it's funny, I've always been so firm & "unforgiving" when it comes to this sensitive topic.....I don't believe in abortion myself...but speaking with you has made me see the sadness & sorrow in the loss, and you've given me a sense of understanding & compassion for the mothers. It only brings pain - what you needed was someone to talk to & guide you. I also wish your baby a Happy Birthday, my son is four, and I cry as I wish I could share him with you.......thank you for touching my heart. ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I have to make one final comment - just a thought to all who are like me.....firm believers that all should have a right to live.....What is the worser of two evil's? To decide for abortion, or to raise a child in a home where the child feels no love.....because he/she wasn't "wanted".....I think this leads to so much abuse & neglect......parents who don't love their kids, should let someone else love them. I think every situation is as unique as every woman's decision....we don't know, so we shouldn't judge....may we have the strength to live! ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Miriam, the comment above in no way meant that you wouldn't have loved your child....I know you do. It's intended for the parents who don't love because their kids "ruined their lives..." I don't want anyone to think I directed that towards you..... ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
this poem was inspired by you and it is me who should be thanking you. In best and most delicate time in my life you came to me. You have shared your son with me. You've shown me the love you have for him and I know him through your beauty. thank you from the bottom of my heart. ------------------ Turn that frown miriam coronado |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
Miriam, I feel your pain....I went through this too. Thank you for writing this poem. The strange thing about it is, I felt inspired to write a poem about my experience of abortion to post here but forced it out of my thoughts because I didn't know how people here would recieve it. Well from what I can tell, people here have been very understanding and know that we all go through painful situations in life sometimes that we have a hard time dealing with. Thank you for having the courage to yield to your urges of inspiration and spill your soul on paper. P.S. I have realized that in hindsight, I did what was best for me at the time. |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
Mona Lisa..my heart goes out to you. I'm here if you need to talk. Everyone here has been extremely supportive. I have PPF to thank for opening my heart. |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
Thank you so much Miriam. I will remember that. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
See, this is what's so great about poetry and sharing....it is a form of inexpensive therapy....sometimes it just helps to say the things we've kept bottled up for so long, that eat at us....the words themselves help us heal with time! Emotions that are silenced & bottled up , hurt. I'm so glad you've released your experience & shared with all of us here.....It's probably like a burden has been lifted a little from your heart....makes it a bit easier to cope with. All my love & prayers for you! See how many people you've touched? I'm so proud ! ***blowing kisses & wiping eyes **** ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
My dear, Rainbow is right here! The hardest thing we have to do sometimes is to learn to forgive ourselves. That is something you have to do or this will eat you alive! If you need to talk I am also here, just give me an email! |
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Deb Lynne Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180Where blue skies meet blue ocean |
Miriam: I, too, gave up a chance To ever have another To give my little daughter A chance to have a brother Not a day goes by without A thought of what might have been And I'm not sure what I would do If ever in that situation again I ask the Lord to forgive And one day let me see That tiny little angel Who's forver a part of me And each Sept. 4th, I wish mine a Happy Birthday, too! Head up girl! Love you and here for you always! |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
im glad that my poem has opened up so many hearts. My email is available for all to write whenever you want. thank you...if i had you here all i would give each a special hug. Finally someone i can talk to about my problem without being judged. I care for you all. Remember that you're my friend...but you're also my brother/sister in Christ. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
miriam, great poem, beautifully done, lots of pain, so sending you big hugs |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
iloveit...i feel the warmth of your hugs...you can't see it but i'm hugging back with all my might...hope you can feel them. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
You did do the best thing for you both Miriam, no one should be forced into anything especially motherhood. Beautifuly written and bought a tear to my eye. I had a miscarriage and know I will meet my daughter again one day. We built a small memorial for her in the yard, that helps. Perhaps it may help for you too? ############################# Now I want to be rude and digress.. A quick note to Julie... Julie I was adopted as was my husband, you still may meet your child one day. Don't lose hope or feel guilty. I found my mother. If you'd like to talk email me, I had your email address and didn't feel right about imposing. Give it some thought. ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Miriam, A Beautiful tribute. You did the right thing only you can know if you are ready to be a Mom. You did the best you can do, that is enough. I had a miscarriage and have a small memorial plaque in the back yard in the garden (unobtrusively) and that helps. Perhaps you could do the same? I'm sending you a big hug and if you wanna talk please email me anytime. ########################## I wish to digress and post a quick message to Julie. Julie both my husband and I are adopted. I found my mother. I know both sides of the coin mother/daughter now. I wanted to email you about it but didn't want to intrude. Perhaps you could email me if you want to talk. I tried printing this response earlier and it didn't go through, hope this does. ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beautiful tribute. I admit I got teary eyed. I lost a daughter to miscarriage and have a small memorial for her in the garden unobtrusively. Perhaps that would help you a bit too. May I digress and say to Julie I am adopted and found my mum, my husband is adopted too. I found my mother, so know all the feelings for her and myself that were involved. I wanted to email you but didn't want to be obtrusive. If you want to talk or an opinion from an adoptee PLEASE email me. ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Miriam, A Beautiful Tribute. Moved me to tears. I lost a daughter to miscarriage. I have a small unobtrusive memorial for her in my garden, it may help to do that. You'll see her again and the reunion will be joyous. I send heartfelt hugs.....: ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
One last thank you to each and everyone of you. your hearts are all so warm. your hugs and blessings have worked wonders in me. i have found a great group of friends, friends which i can turn to for smiles laughs and tears. i love you all. for many years i've carried so much of this on my shoulders. thank you for taking some off. i wrote a poem titled "to YOU the reader" (it's already on one of the last pages) it's all i can do to thank you guys. i am here for each and everyone of you. tears are strolling down my cheeks right now. the only difference is that these tears are of joy, of belonging. thank you all, you've made me a happy person once again. thank you PFF. i love you for your kind and sweet heart. none of this could've been done without you. know someone out there cares and considers you a great person. thanks once again. ------------------ miriam coronado |
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DBeth Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 110providence,ky.42450 |
Great poem!!! keep up the good work! |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
knowing what you know now.. that's all that needs to be said. |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
DBeth, redwriter1, thank you both. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
That is a beautiful loving poem!! I understand how you feel!! I often sense you in the blue of the sky When the darkness draws close As the sun sets down to sleep At the time of twilight That time of day I so often love You comfort me and love me when I cry I love you always my little Starshine Thank You so much for the courage to write such a piece!! Justbleu ------------------ "Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???" |
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juanita Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 68Los Angeles, CA, USA |
I DIDN'T WANT TO READ THIS POEM, IT WAS STRONGER THAN ME, NOW I AM SITTING HERE THE TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS. YOU ARE VERY BRAVE, PLEASE FORGIVE YOURSELF I'M SURE YOUR BABY FORGAVE YOU A LONG TIME AGO. THIS IS THE WAY IT WORKS WHERE THE BABY IS.I HAVE ALL OF PFF POEMS BECAUSE I FOUND THEM VERY ENCOURAGING AND BEAUTIFUL. GOOD LUCK TO YOU. BIG HUG. |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
justbleu...thank you for the sweet piece. I hope you don't mind but I printed it out and have it in my organizer. Juanita...If this poem hurt you I'm sorry. God knows I've hurt enough people in my life. Thank you for the sweet words of encouragement. And yes, I'm sure my baby has forgiven me...But what about my God? That's the one I need forgiveness from the most. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
No I don't mind in the least!! I'm glad you liked it!! I see it not only helped me to write my feelings but, it looks as if it may help you too!! Very cool!! Your welcome, and thanks!! Justbleu ------------------ "Is she living in a dream, Is she playing make-believe???" |
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juanita Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 68Los Angeles, CA, USA |
Miriam God was the first one to forgive you the moment that you ask for His forgiveness. God is love, understanding, compassion. He knows your heart better than anybody. He has forgiven you! now is time for you to forgive yourself!!! |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
when i feel His forgiveness i know i'll be able to move on. He needs to forgive me for a lot of things actually. But how can He when I don't really ask Him for it. Sometimes my crime is so bad that i'm scared to kneel and talk to Him. |
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juanita Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 68Los Angeles, CA, USA |
Oh Miriam! I wish I could give you a big hug, I think you need a lot of hugging as a matter of fact. You need to be told that you're loved and that there is no sin that cannot be forgiven. What was done was done, we have to deal with today, today is important. you can forgive yourself, by understanding that you had to make a decision at the time and you made the one that you believed, at that particular time, to be the best for everybody concerned. Now is time for you to go on, start anew. |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Miriam.. You have inspired me to write my unborn child a letter. He would be 5years old last August. When i was 16 i was givin a choice: I could either have an abortion or be sent to live in some home for pregnant teens. I was a coward and i choice the abortion. How i wish i could've been strong. How i miss him and think of him everyday. With all the awe of a mother...i miss him. He has had such an impact on everything in my life (like he's been here). He gave me all this strength and what did i do...i turned him away. And i know he would bring so much happiness to me. I know now that i would take care of him and give him all the love he needs. At 16 i would have gave him all the love a babydoll needs...or would i? See, I still try to make excuses. I love my baby...not a day goes by that i don't wish i could correct that one monumental mistake that will forever be etched in my heart, mind, soul, and womb. Sleep little baby don't you cry...Momma's gonna find her strength sometime..and when she finds her strength down deep..Momma's gonna find you and will forever keep Carman |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
I should be happy to know that so many people are responding to my poems but I'm not. I don't wish this paind upon anyone and to know that so many people have gone through it hurts me so much. Carman my heart goes out to you as well as to anyone who has responded to this poem. Togethera and with out compassionate words we will make it through, I know we will. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
The hardest thing to do in our lifetime, is to make a decision based on circumstances and then forgive ourselves at a later time..but the beauty of life is that we grow and we learn and hopefully we understand the priorities in life, just as our finances do and our ability to take care of a little one does and these are constantly changing as we become older...to look back on yesterday with today's head is great but we can't go back, we can only go forward based on experience... No-one here judges, and I think I can safely say, that all anyone here wants is for all of us to know peace and contentment and I hope we all do! HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-16-99).] |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
Miriam...be proud of your work. This doesn't add to any pain..but helps the pain work itself out of the heart. |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
thanks you guys!! I have never felt so much weight lifting off my shoulders. is it safe to say that i won some type of record with this poem?? love you all, miriam |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
A poem most worthy of another view by all, Miriam. Michael |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Miriam, I have found out recently it is not only God's forgiveness but also our own forgiveness we need!! I have to find a way to forgive myself!! I hope you already have!! Take Care and God Bless, Bridgette |
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miriam Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 323glendale,ca. |
I try my hardest not to bump into this poem to often...that's why I haven't replied. Justbleu...I know that if you ask for forgiveness from your heart the Lord will hear your prayer. This poem and the replies I got make me the strong person that I am now. Thank you for your sweet words...I'll keep you in my prayers. miriam coronado |
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