»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #2
»
before dawn rises..please tell me what you think
| Open Poetry #2 |
|
before dawn rises..please tell me what you think |
|
|
loverbaby Junior Member
since 1999-09-07
Posts 15Sioux City Iowa |
i sit here now at the edge of the bed. before dawn rises tring to be careful so that you don't see me leave you as just another memorie because i fear that if i stay i will see you at the edge of this bed and i don't think that i could take it so i sit here now putting on my left shoe knowing that when you awaken this bed will seem so much larger and colder but i ma no the one that is suposed to keep it warm please forgive me sweet soul but i must go now ------------------ Niki Frady |
||
| © Copyright 1999 loverbaby - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I am not a critic of form. I have enough trouble with it myself. The message is clear and it is sad that fear drives you away from the possibility of warmth, comfort and safety. The feeling was very clear here. It is sadness and fear. |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
The feelings i got were aloneness, sadness and fear. And the awful feeling you'd get for leaving. Is this what you wanted in a response? Hope it helped.. ------------------ A hero is a man who does what he can. ~Isis~ (The Fragile Rose) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||