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Open Poetry #2
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Aldo
New Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2
Some where in the the depths the United Sadness of America

0 posted 1999-09-26 04:30 PM


This is my first poem and I wanted to share it with some one and fortunately I found you!!!

Crimson Star

My love for you proclaimed in words
Could never be out spoken,
My visions lost when hopes die
Now I'm lost and broken.

Your distant kiss a dream so far
A torturous burning lie,
Lost in spite of all I see
In every tear stained try.

Raindrops bring relief from thirst
Yearning to be free,
A wondrous tree all made of stone
My cold eternity.

With arms out stretched palms to the sky
I'll never be alone,
Burning star from blinding heights
Watches from his throne.

[This message has been edited by Aldo (edited 09-26-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Aldo - All Rights Reserved
Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32

1 posted 1999-09-26 04:33 PM


For your first poem,this is really,really
good. I love the title.

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 1999-09-26 04:38 PM


Your first work. Very nice. I have posted my first works here as well. I do not have the style of a poet. Just the depth of my soul. I have come here to learn. Poetic style is something I lack. You have done a wondeful job here.


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
3 posted 1999-09-26 04:42 PM


Welcome to Passions Aldo!
As for the first try, well I hope it won't be your last! This work shows a lot of potential.
I really liked the line:
"Burning star from blinding heights"
Welcome again!

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

4 posted 1999-09-26 04:44 PM


Echoes of Christopher here. Welcome indeed and do present your work again.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
5 posted 1999-09-26 08:31 PM


Beautiful!! Welcome to Passions, looking forward to more

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 1999-09-26 08:53 PM


Very lovely, Aldo. I enjoyed this.

------------------
Denise

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