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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-09-26 01:53 AM

Filled with the wonder of great expectations
Stories of treasures that others have sought
Covered with dust of the lost generations
A lonesome plantain grows by the road

Ears towards heaven, roots in the ground
Silently waiting, covered with haze
A plant rarely cares for what is around
Blindly seeking the warm distant rays

I stand beside it, laughing with sorrow
With dirt and mud all over my boots
In wild pursuit of unending tomorrow
I dream everyday of having its roots

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

1 posted 1999-09-26 04:04 AM

This is very nice MAster and I love the last two lines but am wondering why stanzas tao and three have such perfect meter and rhyme and in the first stanza , you don't follow the same? I mean, it stats out NOT rhyming, and then goes to perfect rhyme...a little baffling.....good message tho. :-)

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-09-26 08:47 AM

Nicely done

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Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 1999-09-26 12:03 PM

Thank you both, Beki I'm not too much concerned with meter to tell you the truth, as long as it sounds good when I read it, that;s all that matters. Thanks for your comments.

Tara Simms
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

4 posted 1999-09-26 12:25 PM

Master, I am a fan of your work. You have so much insight for someone so young.

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Work like you don't need the money, love like it's never going to hurt, dance like nobody's watching.

Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

5 posted 1999-09-26 10:22 PM

Thanks Tara!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

6 posted 1999-09-26 10:36 PM

This struck a chord - I like this, master, I really do.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

7 posted 1999-09-26 11:16 PM

Thanks Severn! I'm glad you liked it.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-09-26 11:29 PM

Great poem! I especially love the last two lines,
'In wild pursuit of unending tomorrow
I dream everyday of having its roots'

Simply wonderful!

------------------
Denise

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 1999-09-27 08:06 AM

Master,
Good thoughts, good poem, well done.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

10 posted 1999-09-27 01:26 PM

Master: These roots wouldn't be strings would they?..

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

11 posted 1999-09-27 03:14 PM

Thank you Denise and Seymour!

And RainbowGirl it looks more natural when one doesn't know he's a puppet. Thanks

HUGS back at ya!

graham
Member

since 1999-07-31

Posts 60
South Yorkshire, England

12 posted 1999-09-27 03:42 PM

Hey...thats both neat and amusing. Good stuff there...I enjoyed the read!

Never stop wonder-ing my friend!!

------------------
I always wanted an edible canoe
but you can't have your kayak and eat it too!

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

13 posted 1999-09-27 07:36 PM

Thanks Graham, don't know how you got amusing from this poem, but thanks.

Paul Allen Lupien
Member

since 1999-09-09

Posts 114
Ferndale,Mi.USA

14 posted 1999-09-27 08:31 PM

Perhaps some derive amusement from the experiencing of a new perspective.This poem did provide that and ,therefore,I enjoyed it also...The root concept was particulaly well chosen.

PAL

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WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

15 posted 1999-09-27 10:28 PM

Very nicely said! I'm with ya on this, I wish I had their roots too!

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God gave you two ears and one mouth...so you should listen twice as much as you talk.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

16 posted 1999-09-27 11:13 PM

Thank you PAL and WhiteDove! I'm glad you guys liked it.

[email protected]
Junior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 36
Whitesboro,NY,USA

17 posted 1999-09-27 11:42 PM

I am struck positively dumb with the last two lines,you're wonderful!!

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

18 posted 1999-09-28 07:08 AM

Thanks Mark!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

19 posted 2004-04-18 02:21 PM

me too

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