Open Poetry #2 |
Umm... |
Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
As I sit cross-legged on my bedroom floor my heart beats wildly in my chest. The feel of the cool razor blade between my fingers calms my agitation. Soon everything will be better! I think of the pain, and press the edge of the blade into the soft flesh on the belly of my inner arm. Then I drag it painlessly accross until blood beads up, and the incision grapes angrily. I exhale; tension floods my body. If it doesn't bleed then I have failed. I love this control I have over my body. The way it helps me to focus. The point that the scars on my arms and legs say things I can't articulate. I want to make myself feel something. The way everybody around me seems to. The physical feeling of cutting myself is the same as the emotional feeling I'm not having. Seeing the blood makes me feel human! When I am totally alienated from myself, it is my ticket back in. For me, the scars from a burn or cut, are reminders of the incidents that triggered the mutilation. People think it's addicting but it's not, it's an addictive like behaviour. The bottom line is that I can choose to injure or not... It's all up to me! |
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© Copyright 1999 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved | |||
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Very very interesting!! uummm....that's exactly what I said when I read it, but don't get me wrong, it's very good! Did you have trouble finding a title for it??? How about..." Cutting release " or " My cutting Calm".....?? ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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Jay_Jay Junior Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 38San Diego, CA. USA |
I think umm explains it very well, Echo. That is also what I said after reading it the first time. I was just speechless. It was excellent though, and I can actually understand why you do what you do, I don't condole it, but I understand it. I love you my darling cyber sis, and I love you, just please never do anything to end your life, I would greatly miss you and your wonderful poetry! ------------------ Never allow life to get in the way of living... |
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Sean Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 17Holtville, CA. USA |
I must agree, umm is what I first said too lol. Jay is right though, Echo, you have allowed us to understand a little more. I am once again speechless after reading another of your poems! *huggles* |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
I am always full of umm's that is why this was title umm...also because I didn't have anything else to title it. I like your suggestions though poetFemmeFatale, thanks! Jay...I love you too bro *hugs* Sean...Huggles right back at you! Thank you all for reading this =) |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
wow echo, somehow your poem makes me glad to know hurt and the tears that wash the slate clean, I used to shy from love, because of the pain, but would rather hurt than never feel anything....big hugs friend |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
ILoveIt...I agree and *hugs back* thank you, I needed the hug =) |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I'm speechless!!! Sending you another *HUG* cuz, you said you needed it!! Justbleu ------------------ "It may take a boy to turn a girl's head, but it takes a man to turn a girl's heart" |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I missed this the first time around. I am sorry I did! I can understand, I'm sorry you feel such anguish! Now I know that was not just a feeling, but something you tried to carry out. I hope you will find that you are worth more than you can ever comprehend! I hope you heal in spirit as well as physically. (((((((BIG HUGS))))))))) |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I missed this also....I hope Echo that soon you will be able to feel the abundance of love that surrounds you. My prayers are for your healthy return....... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Ditto on Pepper's words my friend, hope you come back happily to us soon.. ------------------ A hero is a man who does what he can. ~Isis~ (The Fragile Rose) |
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