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Open Poetry #2
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Jim Raynor
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA

0 posted 1999-09-19 06:03 PM


Blood stains on my hands not my own but my enemys,

now I stand on this battle field all alone with blood stains on my hands and courage of a lion in my heart.

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$*%Jim Raynor%*$

© Copyright 1999 Jim Raynor - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-09-19 06:10 PM


Jim....this spoke volumes in very few words, A very good idea. I myself may change the format just a little, it doesn't change the meaning one bit, but definately improves the flow and makes it more reader friendly....this is merely a suggestion:

Battlefield of Courage

Blood stains on my hands,
not my own but my enemys,
now I stand on this battle field,
all alone,
with blood stains on my hands
and courage of a lion in my heart.



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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

Jim Raynor
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA
2 posted 1999-09-19 06:15 PM


okay sounds good owl i just thought of this one in my head a minute ago and didnt bother redoing it

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 1999-09-19 06:17 PM


It actually reads very well that way, and it is an interesting piece of poetry.

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

Jim Raynor
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA
4 posted 1999-09-19 07:23 PM


im glad you think its interesting


-jim

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