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Open Poetry #2

battle field of courage

Jim Raynor
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA

0 posted 1999-09-19 06:03 PM

Blood stains on my hands not my own but my enemys,

now I stand on this battle field all alone with blood stains on my hands and courage of a lion in my heart.

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$*%Jim Raynor%*$

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-09-19 06:10 PM

Jim....this spoke volumes in very few words, A very good idea. I myself may change the format just a little, it doesn't change the meaning one bit, but definately improves the flow and makes it more reader friendly....this is merely a suggestion:

Battlefield of Courage

Blood stains on my hands,
not my own but my enemys,
now I stand on this battle field,
all alone,
with blood stains on my hands
and courage of a lion in my heart.

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

Jim Raynor
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA

2 posted 1999-09-19 06:15 PM

okay sounds good owl i just thought of this one in my head a minute ago and didnt bother redoing it

------------------
$*%Jim Raynor%*$

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

3 posted 1999-09-19 06:17 PM

It actually reads very well that way, and it is an interesting piece of poetry.

------------------
"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

Jim Raynor
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA

4 posted 1999-09-19 07:23 PM

im glad you think its interesting

-jim

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