Something different and is it any good?

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Open Poetry #2

Something different and is it any good?

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

0 posted 1999-09-17 01:12 AM

The lonliness coils around me like a snake,
It weaves around my being like a mist,
It shuts me off from the world,
It beats on my soul like a fist.

The quiet time of dusk does bring
Forth feelings of terror and fear,
A realization that indeed I'm alone.
I cry a single tear..

SHORT BUT A TOTAL EXPERIMENT FOR ME..

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Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

1 posted 1999-09-17 01:22 AM

It is short but it says much, Isis.
To convey that much emotion in so few words can only be a good thing.

Michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 09-17-99).]

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-09-17 01:34 AM

I love the first line! Very scary and graphic...loneliness (and snakes)scare me too!

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

3 posted 1999-09-17 01:40 AM

Thanks to the men of wisdom...:

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Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

4 posted 1999-09-17 09:46 AM

Not a wasted word amoung them and it speaks volumes with very few words

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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

5 posted 1999-09-17 09:49 AM

Your experiment turned out well! Very well indeed!

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

6 posted 1999-09-17 06:49 PM

Thanks WhtDove, I feel so inexperienced, like a baby taking first steps here sometimes. I need the support and encouragement.
Thanks to one and all.

------------------
Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.
~Isis~

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