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Exit Leaving
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Exit Leaving |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Exit Leaving I am bound by your love, I am bound by your gag. Words I should speak would show me a nag. I am bound by your love. the strings ever tight. Emotions run rampant deep in the night. I am bound by your love, I know of no other. Dreams are just visions underneath night’s cover. I am bound by your love, choking myself to death. Memories of another life are all I have left. I am bound by your love, walking out the door. I finally understand what the exit is for. 16 September, 1999 ©KRJ ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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| © Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Intense, Sunshine. This piece is so powerful-"bound by your love" has to be the most important phrase in it. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you Elizabeth. Sometimes I wonder if the "repeating" of a phrase makes the poem stronger, or if it just seems redundant. I will take anyone's thoughts on that subject. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I think repetition makes poetry more powerful. I try to use it in my poems. There is a lot of it in pantoums, which seems to be a very popular form...wll, now you have my opinion. ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
You go girl...no more bounds for you!! ------------------ "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thanks E'Beth for your comments, and Hoot, we "both go!", girl! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very insightful. Sometimes we don't see the exit, sometimes it's just hard to go there. good writing. Good for you! [This message has been edited by passing shadows (edited 09-17-99).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Shadows, there's always an exit. It just depends on whether or not the Emergency Bell needs to ring! |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Hi Sunshine.....powerful is definetly the word to describe this piece and as you know, I am not a poet, but I think that the line "I am bound by your love"calls to be repeated.....I love this one....very well written....when you say "I finally understand what the exit is for", makes me feel like standing up and applauding......... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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