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1,968 Thoughts
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1,968 Thoughts |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Passing through the living room, a snippet of black and white TV showing a scene where rain on a window pane is streaking in shadows on the wall…rivulets of water streaming, streaming, and I pass on, trying to by-pass as well the memory of water streaming, streaming and nostalgia barging in where it doesn’t belong, and just that quickly…. I’m back. The smells and sensations of 1968 envelope me and I’m standing at the plate glass window looking out, watching rivulets and wind making opaque, unique artistry, but I’m ignoring the wonders around me, instead wondering if he is thinking of me; so why am I wondering why I love him, surely not wanting to know all of the answers because I’ve argued too much already with myself, as this war waging and raging inside my head doesn’t do anything for my temperament except make me temperamental and I’m sick of the teen-age chiding about this…by God, these are adult feelings I’m dealing with, they’ve got to be, they’re too real. I know my shortcomings. I have SO many of them! I really did listen to the psych professor talk about self-analysis, I really, really did. So what if I don’t care to rehash now what I already know are my faults, but instead work against them and pull up from inside me what can be good and likeable about me? So I fail in self-esteem! What of it!? When I think I might have some, someone pulls me down, making me accountable for what I say and how I act, so what the real question is, why not just be myself? OK, the positive points are, I’m shy, and insecure, and I believe that if I don’t marry him, then I won’t marry anyone because who else wants someone awkward and shy and a self-admitted klutz? But I’m a charming, shy and insecure person, I always smile, and greet people warmly; I give large abundant hugs and my quietness is not snobbishness…it’s just that listening to people is much better than having me open my mouth to put my foot in it… In my return to the present, I note that the TV show has gone past the wrinkling of wet window shadows on the wall, while in its place is a nonsensical color commercial…just like my life. And oh yes, him? Long gone. Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
what a neat snippet! - you write so smoothly - I could just read and read - |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
hi Karilea--I like the way you transitioned from the present to the past...was thinking with the black and white TV...you were already in the past and maybe going back further, but I guess not... I liked this...look at the teenage girl and then back into the present...and he isn't with her...says alot... is there more??? |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Whoa...cool. I really like the way you use the TV as a device of transport (Help, i'm talking out of my arse!)...Well, try to sound smart aside, nice work and all. The wording is especially conductive to the whole illusion... Spreading insanity, one post at a time "Way back in eighty-seven, where we bust rockstands till we get to heaven" |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Toss the T.V. and drop down a stylus on a round of vinyl and I will take one of those hugs and dance to 2000 plus new thoughts. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
...someone's dating herself... (and I thought you were a LOT older than that... hehe Kari - Kool. Interesting thoughts. I especially enjoyed the comparison of "teen age feelings" vs - the reality. There's a moral for the younger people [teenagers] in this vignette, a good one!  Christopher |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hummm, perhaps I have short-sheeted myself in this department. It seems I've found a niche for my "train of thought" type of writing... thank you everyone... I'll "snippet" some more and we'll see where it leads... and Christopher, I AM that old...LOL but still young at heart... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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