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300 Yards to a kiss ( my 1st prose attempt)
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300 Yards to a kiss ( my 1st prose attempt) |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song 
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300 Yards To A Kiss Shhh....listen...just beyond the spattering of trees. Natures static of hissing as one wave after another pummels upon the fragile beach. Beyond this broken path of torn away soil is where we shall be treated to the symphony of salten orchestras. Come join me......pay attention to all around. The shading of shadows distorting all hidden traced blessings of wonder. The blades of bermuda pressing against the soils of time from tramplings of those before us as they too sought the silence of the night.Twigs of promise piercing through forgotten remains of life giving cycles. Silvery gray clouds of moss growing their communities of tomorrows forces..... searching for the darkened shelters with tenacity and poise. Aromatic seasonings of wild mint flavoring the gentle breezes; kissing us with tenderness as we step withing their realm. Broken traces of moonlit guidance flashing before our eyes between the pitter and the patter of serrated prancings within the textured shells of maples and splaying burst of long leaf pines. Through this corridor of yesterdays turmoils just a hundred yards away rest all the promises of tomorrows surrendering plight. White sands of glass sparkling to the cadence of twilights stars as they lend sunken cushions under the weight of our feet. One hundred yards of dancing beneath us to the moistured kisses of each passing breach of foaming passion. Silent sizzles of millions of bubbles bursting in the air as they roll across the pebbled sand. Scalloped remains of the oceans depths scattered aimlessly across the shore and neddle size wells being dug as the sand crab searches refuge from the sandpipers hunt. Just beyond the break of surf scoots the base of billowing sails. The bow slicing the blue worlds of unforgiving seas as the white caps of surrender break free of the battered fortress of watery protection curling in fear as they are cast aside. Just one hundred yards more to the green silkend rock standing firm against the onslaught of harrassing waves. Hermit crabs standing guard as they lose ground with each barrage of angry crests and recapturing what they can within the momentary retreat. This is where we begin our lovers life; in silence we look deep in each others eyes amidst the peaceful silence of natures wars. We kiss............. Mark Bohannan |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow!!! Mark...This is a prose poem, the language and imagery is wonderful! I am totally impressed...BRAVO! Oncore! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
If that was only leading up to the kiss why am I out of breath already  ......obviously not your first prose...only first posted...have you been holding out on us!! Shame on you  I enjoyed this very much...yes....Prose Poetry....a beautiful duet~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Martie-for you to say that I impressed you is the greatest compliment I could get as I see you as a master in imagery especially in free verse....you should try prose like this if you havent because you would be great at it and it is so much fun.....relaxing. "SIS"--Me? hold out on you? no way hon'....now breathe slow...deep long slow breaths.....that's it.....WOW you had me scared there Sis....what would I tell the folks.....You make your big brother blush with you sweet replies....Thank you so much and I am truely glad you liked and stay tuned for what is after the kiss.....(Mild version) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mark, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. Lots of brilliant images in this one... Written more under the influence of poetic thoughts - clearly visible with the way you formed your sentences... very enchanting all the same... Do you wish any directions in tightening this up a little... if so proceed, else accept my regards in the knowledge that I very much enjoyed this one and am expecting many more "prosetic" works from you... Many regards, Sudhir. Well, if you are still reading here is how I would have written this (unfortunately I do not get possess such inspirational thoughts) so I can only comment ...  Read the following and see if you notice any difference... Thanks for your consideration and the time.... - Sudhir 300 Yards To A Kiss Shhhh! Listen. Listen to nature's static hissing as one wave after another pummels upon the fragile beach, just beyond the spattering of the trees. Beyond this broken path of torn-away soil is where we shall be treated to the symphony of saltine orchestras. Come join me. Pay attention to all around. The shading of shadows distorting all hidden traced blessings of wonder. The blades of Bermuda, pressing against the soils of time from trampling of those before us, as they too sought the silence of the night. Twigs of promise, piercing through forgotten remains of life, giving cycles. Silvery grey clouds of moss growing their communities of tomorrow's forces searching for the darkened shelters with tenacity and poise. Aromatic seasonings of wild mint flavouring the gentle breezes kissing us with tenderness as we step within their realm. Broken traces of moonlit guidance, flashing before our eyes between the pitter and the patter of serrated prancing within the textured shells of maples and splaying burst of long leaf pines. Through this corridor of yesterday's turmoil, just a hundred yards away, rest all the promises of tomorrow's surrendering plight. White sands of glass sparkling to the cadence of twilight's stars, as they lend sunken cushions under the weight of our feet. One hundred yards of dancing beneath us to the moistured kisses of each passing breach of foaming passion. Silent sizzles of millions of bubbles bursting in the air as they roll across the pebbled sand. Scalloped remains of the ocean depths scattered aimlessly across the shore and needle sized wells being dug as the sand crab searches refuge from the sandpiper's hunt. Just beyond the break of surf scoots the base of billowing sails. The bow slicing the blue worlds of unforgiving seas as the white caps of surrender break free of the battered fortress of watery protection curling in fear as they are cast aside. Just one hundred yards more to the green silkened rock, standing firm against the onslaught of harassing waves. Hermit crabs standing guard as they lose ground with each barrage of angry crests, recapturing what they can within the momentary retreat. This is where we begin our lovers' life. In silence, we look deep in each other's eyes amidst the peaceful silence of nature's wars. We kiss... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mark, what can one say? Poetically prose-filled all the way! When one smells the salted kiss left behind, one may cry silent tears... oh, well done! And it makes me very pleased to know that you are enjoying this immensely! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A prose poem? You have a great way with imagery, that's for sure! But is the format a poem or prose? I'm confused!!! LOL |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I definetly have to agree with the prose poem consensus, a prose format with sentence with a poetic turn. Intriguing tale and I enjoyed this poetic prose, you have to love lines like "White sands of glass sparkling to the cadence of twilights stars.." Great! Much enjoyed Mark. Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Sudhir my good friend and pub mate.lol I like that very much and I do so appreciate you taking the time to help me develop this. You are a friend indeed. Thank you much. Sunshine-Your words are always so welcomed by me. I am so glad that you liked it. Means much. Thank you. PdV-I am confused also..LOL...how do you think I came up with this?lolol Thank you much. Abrahm-Thank you very much and that is one of my favorite lines in the whole thing(PROSE?-POEM?)myself. I had fun doing this and will be doing it more. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Finally...Im here...damn puter WELL pardon me but Im gonna come in here now and just flat out GLOAT and say... I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!!!!!! So now....since some of the most gifted in Passions have seconded my point.. maybe now you will just pick up that pen and prose that talented, artistic, poetic, butt of yours off... cause YOU do have a gift for this... I KNOW-- OH baby do I KNOW  (hehe)SO...that being said... your assigment is to paint me a sunset... or a ocean sail ...or waterfall ... or all of the above later-gifted-prose-gator me *skipping out of room* *smiling* *singing--I told him so..I told him so* *lalalalalala* HE HE I do so LOVE being right ;* |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
JM-my sweet prose aholic gator....what am I to do with you but bow to your every whim. I get your point and the assignment is taken and you will see what you want to see. Now stop all that gloating and look what you done....you have let me secret out in knowing what you know. Have you ever noticed that when you skip, you ...welllllll...never mind....just keep on skipping  and I will gaulk.  Thank you sweetness for all you are and for ALL THOSE pushes to get me here. I do enjoy it as you know. |
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Artistic Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107Colorado/Rochester, NY |
Gosh Mark- What can I say? When you asked me to take a look at your first prose... I was quite surprised... However...! I took a quick peek in the dictionary to double-check what prose was supposed to be... So w/ the idea of what prose is supposed to be like... I headed over to take a look-see at your prose... Now... are you sure that's prose?? Cuz when I look at it, yes, it IS prose... but at the same time, it looks poetic?!? Anyways... I loved the description... very vividly done for the imaginative! Loved the way you kept coaxing the special lady to that special place...! Nicely done! ~Artistic~ "Dreams are the touchstones of our characters" -Henry David Thoreau |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Artistic-Thank you so much and you are in the same thought as we all are now.lol I thank you for your lovely response and your time. Take care of you...as my soulmate would say so I shall as well.LOL |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
**Picking myself up off your beach** WHEW! This is one detailed piece of wonder and words! I had to really slow down my reading pace to soak it all up! Such description and beauty, which all led to that one tender moment. Was this a first kiss? I sure hope so, because it was perfect. You sure know how to kiss! I shall read more of you! Now I know why the girls are swooning! LOL |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Allow me to be another in a long line to praise this piece Mark. Ripe with imagery, I can clearly see and feel the setting, the emotions... A sigh escapes my lips at the sensuous beauty you evoke. Bravo. Chris |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
poetFemmeFatale-Make sure you wipe off all that sand before you walk to far...you know how it just loves to find all those awkward places and then make you pay for it with every step.lol SO happy to see you here and glad you liked the piece.....and I will let you know if that is where we first kiss......  Thank you!!!Chris-your sigh along with the bravo have made me smile much......I thank you for your kind words and glad you enjoyed it. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
**patiently awaiting the update!** Lucky girl... DAMN sand in my uh...most awkward places! I blame it all on you! LOL **oooh ah** (limping out funny like) |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
poetFemmeFatale- Glad you are patient and it will pay off. Now do us all a favor and go see your Doc. Have him/her check on your heart and then come back with fan in hand. NO raspberry tea for you unless there is a lad near by and for heaven's sake will you please quit spreading that sand all over the forum.LOL |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
I'm at a loss for words, this was breathtaking and beautiful!! I absolutely love it |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Mark...wow...I go digging for buried treasures, and lookie what I find. This is absolutely gorgeous,my friend. The imagery, the emotion...all of it. Wish you'd come back and share more of your beautiful poetry and prose with us. You are missed, my friend. Hugs,  ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Hey you, isn't it enough to make em swoon with your poetry, now you have to do it with prose too?? Oh by the way, Janet is right Love ya my friend, Dee x Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi Mark, it's been a long time. I think this writing is very beautiful, poetic, and very warm. Sandra |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hey Dee... Janet is ALWAYS right roflBoy oh boy, this makes me think of those emails of prose We miss reading ya tiger boyeeeee LOL   "How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you." |
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mystic1 Junior Member
since 2003-07-25
Posts 14Definitely not Kansas |
Mark- So glad I read this. I've been trying for years to figure out what the hell to call my "stuff". It does somehow seem to resemble yours. I have two postings- one in mature content/behind closed doors, the other in critical analysis #2. Maybe take a look- see what you think. I'm going to try and post something tomorrow titled "Rain" and I may consider this forum. Your piece is very powerfull, strong imagery and excellant wording. Would that I could write like that. Good work, good luck, keep on truckin'. “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?” -Chris Rock Still watching, still dreaming [This message has been edited by mystic1 (07-26-2003 06:51 AM).] |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
One hundred yards of dancing beneath us to the moistured kisses of each passing breach of foaming passion. Silent sizzles of millions of bubbles bursting in the air as they roll across the pebbled sand. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Geeeee Mark, you sure know how to kick it up a notch! So glad I found this... It's like finding a treasure packed chest on a beach! Deb |
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