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The New Kid
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The New Kid |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA 
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The New Kid By:Amanda Piatt Pike Christian walked along the autumn gray road, shivering and pulling his blue plaid flannel closer to him. A sudden rustle beside him caused him to jump. The squirrel ran across the street, chittering away to himself in agitation. As it made it to the other side, Pike heard the sound again, now somewhere behind him. "What the ?!..." Pike turned about slowly, afraid of what lurked behind him. "Hey what's up?" An unfamiliar voice inquired. Pike squinted his yellowish-gold eyes for a better look, slowly, if only to confirm the boy human. "Uhhhn...nothing much," Pike replied hesitantly, running a hand nervously through his tousled brown hair. "Where ya headed?" The boy had a vaguely familiar accent, but he wasn't sure. Wearing inconspicuous, rather drab black clothing, he appeared harmless to Pike, so he allowed the kid's continual harrassment. "School. Who are you?" "Billy. Are you new here?" "Yeah, you could say that." The boy's eyebrows lifted with surprise. "If you're headed to school, you'd better get going. The Pukes will be coming this way in a little bit." Pike stopped in midstide. "Who're the Pukes?" He asked. His green eyes narrowed."My mortal enemies. See you later." Billy said, changing his direction and heading off down another road. Pike was stunned for only a second. He trotted up to Billy, and another question fell from his quivering lips. "What gang do you belong to?" "The Bone Crushers. I'm the leader. You in a gang?" "No, not anymore." "Good, join mine. I need recruits." "What for?" "We gotta get revenge. The Puke's leader Fonz stole my girl." He shook his fist in the air with anger. "Is that it?!" Pike looked bewildered. Billy shrugged. "It's good enough for me." "Okay, whatever you say." The two continued on, silence filling their thoughts. ************************************************ Billy ran into his gang, the Bone Crushers, in a hallway to the side, littered with yellow tape and plywood. The place had been closed off for years, and only some snoopy teens would have ever bothered to enter its thresh hold. Almost forty years ago, a young freshman boy had been shot there, but no one ever found his killer. Some say he lives in the forest outside town. Billy sent word that he was assembling his men, to alert any stragglers of the meeting at hand. He invited Pike to join, and he seemed eager to see what they would do to get back at the Puke leader. "Okay guys," Billy began,"I've got a new hit man for the job, but I need someone to flush Fonz out into the open. Who's game?" "I'll do it Billy," A small voice offered from the back. "Jay's game!!" Someone shouted. The owner of the voice was brought to the head of the crowd, and Jason Devoe appeared. Though seeming a little more mature in his looks then the rest, he wore all black with the traditional cap turned sideways, a familiar Crusher-style attire. Aside from the many scars on his hands, there was no evidence of ever serving for the most violence-oriented group in Black Forest High. "Alright, we're finally ready. We meet at Crook Hollow midnight." Billy headed off to his class, and the rest broke away. Pike waited until the hallway was clear, and ran outside to jump the fence that led to the city two miles down the road. Midnight came, and twenty members of the Bone Crushers gang gathered under an old, gnarled tree the townsfolk had dubbed Crook Hollow. Rightfully named, the tree used to be a hideout for a gang of robbers in the 1970's. Families of the robbers sometimes lived in and took over whole apartment complexes, killing the managers to lift themselves from debt, or settle a score. Billy, Jason, and Pike were at the base of the tree, surrounded by the other Crushers. Eyes glazed with hatred and bloodlust, Billy rotated a semi-automatic with skill in one hand, and twitched two throwing knives in the other anxiously. Pike had been lent a gloch 9mm, which he had carelessly shoved into the waist of his jeans, and Jason carried only his simple butterfly knife, a present a former friend had given him. The rest of the group carried their own array of weapons, some brave enough to risk something as loud as a shotgun Billy made a quick head count, then cleared his throat. "The time is now. We are all here. Get in your groups and await Jason's signal. Be ready when he gets Fonz into the open." **************************************************** Jason evaded the crowd and headed off down an alley to dispose of the scum that had ruined three friends' lives. He still had to stick to Billy's game plan, however. Finally the Pukes made their debut, two blocks and probably one-thousand heartbeats later. Ten tentative hit men were trailing behind Jason. Someone was eager to kill him; he could hear the safety being clicked off. Before the man could trail his move, a silver streak flipped from his fingertips and hit the man in his chest. A welter of bright red arose from the stab wound as the knife flipped back to him, and catching it in midflight, Jason rolled away from a stream of bullets that pursued his person. Finally in the clear, he whistled a low call. The dead of night was suddenly filled with gunshots and blood curtling screams. Billy turned and hefted another gun to Pike as his clip unloaded, then emptied. Pike caught it, aimed, and fired. Billy dropped dead. Jason shouted a war cry and bolted toward his fallen leader. Pike turned to face his attacker and shot him in the head. Jason's hat fell from his head as the bullet went clean through both sides. He kept coming. Pike ran head over heels, to elude his dearest enemy. His escape was short-lived as Jason's knife caught him in the back. Pike's four-decade reign was over. Jason halted and sighed relief. His gang hadn't lost, but another friend in his life was gone. At least both had been avenged. He bent over to retrieve his mangled hat, a 1973 Atlanta Braves classic. He thought about the new town-twisted tale that would evolve about Billy, like people had about Luke almost 40 years past. His mortal life as a gang member had been shaken long ago, when Luke had been murdered in school by Pike. In retaliance, Jason had challenged him, and in the midst of the fight he found himself covered in a glowing red goop which flowed from a slash across Pike's navel. Thinking him mortally wounded, Jason allowed Pike to run away toward the forests along the nearby road to die...unknowing of the fact that Pike's kind, the Joktar, needed no sustinance to survive and healed rather rapidly. For several years Jason studied Pike's movements from the past, his whereabouts, his (mis-)doings, keeping eyes on the ones he had related to in close quarters and in hushed circles. He stumbled upon a secret...the Joktar. Finding an opening for himself in the strange Joktar Society of the Elite was difficult, but his perserverance paid off when he killed an informant from a rival group and earned their respect. As the years passed, Jason recieved an offer he couldn't refuse from the Joktar, immortality, the highest honor which could be bestowed upon any human mortal. With revenge beating in his breast, he accepted, and his crusade began. A voice startled him from his musings. Billy was saying goodbye. His human form wavered before him, a bluish soul mumbling thanks and goodbyes. Luke joined Billy for a moment, and though smiling to his old friend, a sadness held in his ghostly eyes. Now unable to cry because of the Joktar blood coursing his veins, Jason simply nodded in understanding. With a moan Billy and Luke faded, and the remaining Crushers gathered in awe and fear around Jason. Jason shoved through the masses, running past Crook Hollow and into the forest. He sought the safety of the Joktar, though in the back of his mind he wondered if they would strip him of his flesh and eat him alive, as was customary for crimes against their people, his people. **************************************************** No longer clothed in the Joktar skin, Jason scrubbed his knobby flesh to cleanse himself of impurities. He would stand naked in his true form before the entire Society tonight, beneath the hum and drone of the city, to hear his charges, or feel the red-hot blade as it seared meat from bone. Their decree would render him powerless, either way. But that's another story for another time....... Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate, Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date. Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometimes declines, By chance or nature's changing course, untrimmed. But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st; Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st. So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. William Shakespeare |
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| © Copyright 2000 Amanda Piatt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
For those of you who think this a bit dull and lacking much, I admit it is and does. This is the first short story I ever wrote, when I was 13. Tell me it blows and I'll heartily agree, but if you were 13 you'd be impressed...lol "Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day." A line from Macbeth, by William Shakespear |
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minneouw New Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 6 |
I think think this is really good, 'specially since you were only 13 when you wrote it. Thanks for the read. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Lady Sophia: I enjoyed the story. I would have liked to see the explanation revealed bit by bit throughout the story rather than by explanation at the end. I got the impression at the beginning that this was a bunch of young gangsters killing each other and this disturbed me a little. I wouldn't call this "dull and lacking". I think it is a strong draft. Thanks for the read. Jim |
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Silkdragon Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 65 |
Interesting... I think this story has a lot of potential. Revising it would probably not be a bad idea. It was a little confusing at points, but I think the idea has merit. I also got the impression that this was a bunch of high-school gangsters killing each other. Maybe you could start establishing it as something else earlier on. I think this is a good story, though, especially for being 13. Erin |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I'm with Jim on this (don't tell him I agreed with him...) I think this presents a strong base for a good telling. The bone is there, needs only be fleshed oout a little more. Cool deal! Chris |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
It has been long since I have been to netpoets and sat down to enjoy the wonderful works archived here. I would like to ask the moderators if I might repost this story or edit it with the new draft I have concocted? You may find it stronger then that of before. ^_^ LadySofia |
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