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Combat - The Surface
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Combat - The Surface |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
It was so dark in here. I'd left light so long ago, to sacrifice my life for this. The world around me was just another numb product of the coalescing forms inside my mind. I remember the last thing I saw before I died. Those dark helmets never left me, they marched headlong into nothing that was as bright as day. Who were these? What were they doing here? I would never know. I remember feeling my self, as it moved about, commanded by the call of some dark force I never thought existed. I'd been hired to free so many others. The greens and blacks surrounded me like dancing trees, marching and gyrating to the beat of some unseen drummer. My eyes floated in bottles of black ink, ever so often signing the order for this or printing out the command for that, but never leaving the jurisdiction and direction of my skull. I could hear the rumblings. Something was moving away. Something was leaving. It felt as though I were falling away. I was pointlessly giving up and sacrificing the thing I needed and loved most. It was so easy, yet so terrifyingly cold. This was the chilled winter of the soul, where none survived, where reason hibernated in it's darkened cave. The rumblings trembled about me. Something was wrong. A bubble was forming in this sea of liquid. I was floating to the top. It was time. "Go," Sammy growls. A scream of hatred and I am off. I can hear the clouds of debris rising behind me. The infantry roars and the men march onward. This is real, this is me. Green leaves and red streams rip past, lacerating my face, whipping me, whispering. It is the last I'll ever see of Sammy. The screams.. They lash at my skull, perverting my ears, discecting my brain, rendering me conscious. "God..." The huts cringe before me, as I make my advance. All is silent. I notice a face protruding from one of those God-forsaken things. The animal is looking right at me! the damned thing.. I notice the face; it's so familiar. She seems to know me. It's coming back to me. It's ike the surfacing of a bubble in some hideous dark swamp. The memories are flooding my mind. "Why?" It's written on her face. The sun stares blankly at me from above. It is time. I don't know why. I take aim at the thing, pressing my hand on the trigger... Something struck me. As my head twists on rediculous angles, as my breath is ripped in two, I hear the scream. "Save me!" It was her, lost in a sea of hell, watching me as I was consumed by hate. I had surfaced to late. I'd left my shell too early. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I don't know, Frac... this one seems very, very vague... and tough to grasp. If you did that on purpose, then power to ya. And I'm going to get you for making my brain work.  Get you!Anyways, this is obviously some sort of afterlife piece... a person, looking at their life in some way, in a regretful way. Does it have to do with Christianity, and the concept of being "saved" before death? That would explain the ending line. Still, I'm iffy, can't quite figure this out. What little room you had in such a small piece for creativity, you did well enough with... you used a few good words. I'm not blown away by this piece but that's because most of it probably flew by me. Nice work, but could you explain it a little more? Then I'll read it a second time, and maybe get more out of it. ~Allan "I know it's nice to be known - It caresses your ego - but the society cost is terrible." |
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