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Second Attempt!!
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Second Attempt!! |
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Ardonida Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 76 |
Looking up at the pale moon's beams, fealing myself being lifted like a spirit from once upon a long ago. I stretch out my arms, eager to embrace the enchanting beauty of her smile. But alas, I was interupted by the screetching harshness of reality. I would rather make a wish upon a long lost beam of the moon. I would rather look into the shining eyes of the stars. And at the same time, I would hold onto the comforting hand of scary-tale reality. It's called balance. A. |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
Good job. You are improving!! Still a few spelling error's but better. Prose is supposed to be more of a story. A short story if you will. As to your spelling, maybe a soell checker??? It's not my strong point either  Hope to see more!!"You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I agree with WolfsMate, improvement is visible! My comment is that though this is prose by definition, I bet you could flesh this out and add detail to this to give the reader a better picture. Keep writing, you're going in the right direction Abrahm Simons "A dream unthreatened by the morning light Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night" - Pink Floyd, "Learning To Fly" |
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