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Alone
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Alone |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
There was something in her eyes that night, something indiscernible. She walked among the people and smiled as she always did but there was something. Something cold and dead in her eyes, something just out of reach. She looked at him then; the one who could see her soul if he wanted to. He could sense her when he allowed himself to. Tonight he was absorbed in his own life, his own dreams and the woman on his arm. Their eyes met for that brief moment and something stirred in his heart. When she looked away the feeling was gone and he turned his attention back to the conversation. Silently she slipped through the glass door an strolled through the garden. It was lovely and peaceful there. The scent of the flora hung in the air; she breathed in deeply. She walked down the path to the silent pool. Slipping off her shoes, she dipped her feet in the coolness of the water. The pool beckoned to her. The tranquillity of the surface whispered her name. She felt drawn by the mystical force of the water. Slowly she glided into the pool until the water was at her jaw line. She let herself float in the lightness of the water. For a moment she was weightless. Very slowly she submerged completely. The blackness of the water surrounded her. The peace enveloping her conscience mind, leaving all the pain behind. She never struggled for her breath, she was quiet and relaxed when death took her. No more would she have to struggle for life and happiness. This was her final good-bye. Alone, as she lived her life, she drifted into the unknown. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I don't really know how to respond to this...it's an exquisite piece...but I don't like the end, I'm not supposed to like the end...right? "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
No Saxoness...you are not supposed to like the end. I lost a friend this way. This was my way of dealing with what happened. It is difficult to understand what goes through ones head. I was trying to explore the mind of one lost. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is so very sad my friend. So sad  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
One of the reasons is appears to be so sad, apart from the subject matter, is that it is expertly written. This is an excellent job, Marilyn |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Very well written my friend, poignant indeed. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
I can but echo all that has been said before me. I must say that I find the ending peaceful.< !signature--> Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 12-14-1999).] |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
So well written and so sad Marilyn. Wonderful work my sister. I wouldn't like to drown What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
hoot....Thankyou for reading my friend. Balladeer....Thankyou for the high praise...your opinion means much to me. Christopher....Thankyou. You are a master of prose and your kudo's means much to me. Dream....Peaceful is what I wish for the one lost. Didn't know how else to write the end. Isis....I would not want to drown either. I wouldn't choose any of the methods self termination. Maybe I am a coward but I believe there is always hope. |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
A very sorrowful tale, touching. A well written soul stirring piece.. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
This piece is absolutely beautiful Marilyn. Even though it is a deeply sad and moving piece, there is a sense of total calm. Beautifully written, well done. |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
This was written very well. The best work I've read by you. I'm glad your writing is finally going in a controled direction for you. Your getting better than you may realize. "If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing." --Kingsley Amis |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Dusk Treader....Thankyou very much. A compliment like that from you is high praise. Moonshine....Thankyou for taking the time to read my work...  merl....I am glad that you can see an improvement in my writing style. Passions has been a great place for learning. If I ever do get published it will be because of this forum. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A sad but eloquently written story. James |
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Terrina Kethryveris Member
since 1999-12-06
Posts 53USA |
Wonderfully written piece. I can somewhat understand what runs through ones mind when they feel there is nothing left for them I myself have reached that point in my life once, but I had friends who cared and showed me there was something more out there for me. I am sorry to hear of your loss and I hope that you find peace in your life once again.  Terri Truth be known, fantasy is much more appealing than reality. |
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tuffluv66 Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 121Iowa, U.S.A. |
Eerily,startling,darkly.....real. A wonderful job writing |
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