"Hello, I'm here to apply for a job."

"You're in luck! We've just expanded our enterprise, and we definitely need help in the Negativy Neutralization Services."

"Negativity Neutralization?" The applicant sniffs suspiciously. "This isn't an internship, is it?"

"Actually, we like to think of it as a commission-based incentive opportunity rife with potential for personal gains coupled with the opportunity of knowledge, even peace of mind, as the position that is available also happens to be abundant with benefits of fulfillment only obtained through service to humanity."

"Sounds like the Peace Corp." *frown*

"Not exactly, but your contract doesn't preclude that particular path in the future."

"This isn't one of those pyramid schemes, is it?"

"Um--I think we phased that program out with the newer technology, but you should know that your rewards are dependent upon your success rate."

(huh?)

"Will I be paid for training?"

"It's on the job." replies Beams Broadly. "Here's an application."

"I have my resume'."

Beams Broadly winked.

"Just fill out the app and we'll take it from there."

The applicant takes the paper and gulps:

"Karmic MISSIONARY? What kind of job title is this?"

"It is the position for which you've applied." *smug smile*

"Are you telling me I've just applied for The Karmic Missionary position?"

"Well of course!"

"B--but, I'm already in karmic debt, and I'm looking to move on and c'mon, even the job title is some kind of joke! Am I being punk'd?"

"Most assuredly not--just--consider it a lateral transfer." *wince*

"But I don't wanna go back to what I was doing! I won't, I won't, I won't!"

The applicant stomps and begins to wail:

"WAH!!!



"Oh stop being a baby..." tsked Beams Broadly.


* * *

The applicant is smacked on the behind, and screams louder, as harsh light hits the newborn's eyes. The temperature of the room contrasts sharply with the rude tingling burn of awareness on the infant girl's buttocks.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Hood, you have another baby girl!" pronounced Dr. Beams Broadly.

"Oh yay" sighed Mrs. Hood wearily, before she succombed to exhaustion.

"Yay, indeed" thought baby Karen, "and oy vay, the sarcasm already..."

"WAH!"