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Its just the prologue.... hoping that it isn't very bad
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Its just the prologue.... hoping that it isn't very bad |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
Prologue Sometimes it’s just not what it looks There Is something more important something more worthwhile Something which says “move on” So started her day... She rushed through everything…. Even breakfast. One thing she dint have-time.”Damn!” BANG!! With all this she had an injured foot! Thanks to her vague crazy thoughts and the table. How can she ask for something she dint have? Something she couldn’t get!! Tears blurred her vision. Something screamed inside her “why me??”Self loathing she felt. Burning desire in her said “I want to”. But she couldn’t .she never knew it would all end like this. Giving up- was not in her veins. She the fighter was becoming a prey to time. Had sheila been here, she would have laughed at her. Her situation her life! What a tragedy she would say. She worked so hard to get this far in life. But all for what? A broken life-beyond repair. She had everything she could ever ask for-but time. For what was all the happiness she couldn’t be there to feel for, the love she wouldn’t be able to see happy, the life ahead which said you’ve done it all but you can’t see it all! What had she done…to look back and say “this makes me proud. I feel my life is spent?”? Nothing at all. And for all she had to do sheila wasn’t even there to say “you will”. It was indeed sheila who always said that to her…every time she thought of giving up…every single time…oh! Why did this happen? She wanted to undo things she had done…make up for all she had done …so much to do but no time at all…she couldn’t even eat what she wanted for the fear of no tomorrow…sama would say…”ahaan so you have given up so soon?” but would she believe would she understand? For once she dint do the ditching. Life chose to ditch her. And ditched her royally. Staggering she tried to get up but her own legs weren’t enough. And this time she was alone-no sheila to fall back on and no sama to help move on. A change – she needed it. But this was a different need. A need she dint want. She lost everything she had. She needed the change. But would the magic work? Would miracles happen? Would it truly? Time would tell… but did she have enough? She should, she would and there wasn’t much time to wait for. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Your crit message says "Probably I can do better". I'm sure you can. The content in this - the thought behind the writing suggests you can do better. The piece is let down badly by the basic errors of layout and grammar, with a few incoherencies thrown in for good measure. For a start you could pick up any English novel and check out how paragraphs are laid out and punctuated, especially where dialogue is concerned. If you want I will help you. Take care. |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
Please do help.I am waiting to hear from you.And thank you for reading  . This is my first write and don't exactly know about the layout.Kind of you to help. |
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