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The Moment
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The Moment |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
For hours she had fretted over hair and make-up, picking out the perfect dress, to be beautiful, or at least looking her best. It was irrelevant. Across the room, she watched him and admired the lines around his eyes when he smiled and felt the thrill of ‘knowing’ as his body moved. He meandered through the crowd, clasping the hands of different people, chatting in his carefree, boyish manner, but not once did his eyes seek hers. It shouldn’t surprise her. It was this way every time he brought her somewhere. Tonight she couldn’t take it anymore. Slowly, with every new face he visited, she could feel a piece of herself disintegrate into a mist, until all that was left was her spirit. She found that she could float and could move, quickly, in any direction she chose. So, she entered the body of the woman he was speaking to. For a brief moment she saw, as the woman did, the warmth of his eyes as he gazed into hers, the feel of his hand gently holding, and the smile…ah, the smile…inviting and full of promise. She remembered the days when that smile had held her captive and had won her heart. It was enough, that moment, enough to force reality into her aching soul. He would never be all that she needed. Her mind filled with doubts. Was she too needy, too demanding? Were her expectations too high and should she just be grateful for the moments he spared her? A resounding ‘No’ screamed in her mind and so she floated out of the building. In her mind she made the decision to change. She would never care enough to want or need. She would only be reliant upon herself. Slowly, she felt the pieces of herself return and took in a breath of the cold and frigid air. With a restored determination she headed back to him, to a confrontation that was long overdue. It was over. She needed more. Unlike him she would give him the understanding of how things would be, there would be no guessing, no moments of insecurity. Full throttle she headed toward him, or at least toward his back. It was then that he turned toward her, two champagne glasses in hand. “There you are,” he said, smiling his smile, eyes glazing over the whole of her. “I was wondering where you were…this is for you.” He extended a glass. She melted. |
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