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Andrew and The Ledge Man
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Andrew and The Ledge Man |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
The October moon flared shadows across the urban landscape as Andrew stepped outside his door. Thirty five pounds of extra weight hindered the movement of his five-foot frame as he lifted his arms over his head and around the newspaper carrier bag in order to adjust his knit cap and bulky winter clothing. Wind sprayed his face with a fine mist of virgin snow sending a chill through him that would soon settle into a numb acceptance of the sub-zero temperature. Trudging his way through two feet of crunchy snow Andrew made his way down the darkened street. His first customer was Mrs. Johnson, a wonderful lady, who always tipped him five dollars when she paid her bill and made certain her walkways were clear of ice and snow. Next was his best friend Billy’s house where he skateboarded often, learning new tricks on his friend’s quarter pipe. Following Billy’s house Andrew stopped to listen carefully. He was approaching The Ledge Man’s house. The Ledge Man was known for letting out his evil Pit-bull Terrier at exactly the same time Andrew delivered the paper. The beast loved to hide beneath the bushes and lay in wait for Andrew’s unsuspecting ankles to appear. The Ledge Man insisted that the newspaper carrier place his paper on the ledge just outside his door, but made certain that this feat was near impossible to accomplish. Andrew knew that beneath the snow would be discarded gardening tools, hoses, or miscellaneous objects that would cause pain when stepped on or tripped over. Whenever Andrew detected any of these threats he would simply toss the paper to the door the best he could and rush to the next house. As it always was on the first of the month it was The Ledge Man’s report card night. Through the shadowed moonlight Andrew could barely see the envelope taped to The Ledge Man’s door. The ledge Man never left his porch light on, so Andrew dug in his bag and pulled out his flashlight. In bold Sharpie lettering he read NEWSPAPER CARRIER. Hesitantly Andrew made his way up the walkway beside the side of the house. Before he could react he found himself face down on the pavement, a goose egg sized knot growing on his forehead where he had hit a flower pot during the fall. He had forgotten about the ice. The Ledge Man, in his brilliance, had the drainage pipe for his rain gutters deposit all the melted water right across the sidewalk where it would freeze and become a sheet of black ice in the middle of the night. Slowly Andrew maneuvered the heavy carrier bag and with a bruised body cautiously made it back to his feet. He winced as he limped to the door, slapped the poly bagged newspaper on the ledge and tore the envelope from the door. Inside the envelope would be his tip, but on the back of the envelope was a listing of The Ledge Man’s opinion of his service. Sept. 1-You kicked my dog! Paper not on my ledge! Minus one dollar. Sept. 2-Paper on the ledge, but headline not showing! Minus 25 cents. Sept. 3-Paper arrived at 6:01. YOUR DEADLINE IS 6:00 (the press had broken down that day). Minus 75 cents…and so it went. The Ledge Man wrote a summation at the end telling Andrew he was a horrible carrier and of the $15 possible Andrew had only earned a fifty cent tip. When Andrew lifted the envelope toward the streetlight he could see the outline of two quarters through the white paper. With a heavy sigh Andrew placed the envelope in the carrier bag and continued on his route. Andrew plotted. Tomorrow night he would move The Ledge Man’s lawn ornaments over to the neighbor’s house and sit in wait to watch him accuse them of stealing them. He could booby-trap The Ledge Man’s rake so it would hit him in the face when he stepped out to retrieve his newspaper. He could set up a dog trap and catch the Pit-bull and take him to the pound. Andrew wondered if there was really such a thing as itching powder and if he could get some to put inside the poly bag all over the newspaper. Two papers before the end of his route he felt guilty and changed his mind. Instead he said a prayer for The Ledge Man. |
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