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The One Year Mark
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The One Year Mark |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
As I sit here thinking of you my son, I can hardly believe that a year has past since I last saw your beautiful face or your mesmerizing peridot eyes. A year since I last saw your magnanimous smile or heard the music of your laughter spilling from it. A year since watching your sun-brushed pecan swirls dripping with your labor. A year since I wrapped my arms around you and touched my lips to your cheek... A year? It is unfathomable to me, for when I close my eyes you are there, just as fresh in my memory as if you were standing directly in front of me. You are never farther away than my reach when my mind’s projector plays its reels of recollections, and yet you are worlds away from my senses… A year? It feels as though only a moment has passed since you left this Earthly plane. Only a moment. So it seems I must endure an eternity before reaching your Heaven. How long will it be? How long must I bear this life without half of my very heart, without half of my very soul? How long must I merely exist in this hell that knows no limits on taking, gives no reprieves for hope? I do merely exist, for this is no life, no living, no true happiness; not without half of who I was, who I am, who I was going to be. You are my flesh, my blood, my child. Conceived in me, carried by me, born of me. My son. How many more years must I feel this emptiness, this incompleteness, this hopelessness? It has only been a year. Tammy<333 |
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| © Copyright 2008 Tammy Brown - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Tammy, Your beautiful son - thank you for sharing him with us. My heart goes out to you. You write the window of your heart. Alison |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Tammy... I feel your pain in every word you have written and shared with us here ...only a Mother can know the emptyness of losing a child.. I'm a Mother of a healthy 23yr old and I'm so sorry to read that you have lost your beloved son.. I hold you in my thoughts.. and I am going to go give my son a hug and hold him tight for a moment now... love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Alison and RDB, Thank you so very much for your words… they mean more to me than you could know. Tammy<333 |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
these are precious memories you have shared of your son...hugs...James |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Thank you so much James... I need all the hugs I can get... Tammy<3 |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Tammy, You don't seem new to writing at all; I think what is showing is your honesty, and above all, your love. I hope you will continue to write here with us for a long, long time. My prayers go out to you and your family. Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting. Sincerely, Sunshine " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Sunshine, Thank you so very much for the warm welcome and the greeting card, it is lovely. I have always had a love for the written word but only in the last year have I found myself writing anything other than add copy and I have found it to be a HUGE release for my grief… I have posted a link to my bi-weekly column I started a few weeks ago for my local community pages in my profile. If you check it out, there is a links box to the right that has my first article, “The One-Year Mark” which will explain more about where my writing is coming from. There is also a link to a tribute video I made for my son if you would like to see it… Thank you again Sunshine for taking the time to welcome me, write to me, and send me the beautiful card… Tammy<333 |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I am deeply touched by your words of love and immense sadness. I welcome you to this site and hope you will feel the warmth in here. The connection of love goes on and dear Larry surely wishes to wipe your tears and to whisper into your ears that he lives, but in another dimension, and that he wants you to LIVE, so that you may be the whole Mom for his little brother too. Heart hugs. Margherita |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Dear Margherita, “The connection of love goes on and dear Larry surely wishes to wipe your tears and to whisper into your ears that he lives, but in another dimension, and that he wants you to LIVE, so that you may be the whole Mom for his little brother too.” You speak my thoughts and beliefs exactly… It is only when I get sucked into the dark tunnel of my grief that I feel differently. And when that happens I write my way through it… Thank you so very much for your words and welcome. They mean a lot to me. I am so happy I found this site and all of it’s wonderful poets. Tammy<333 |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Tammy....I want to welcome you to Pip and to let you know how much writing helped me through the years of grief following the death of my daughter when she was 8. Poetry wrote my heart to her and about her. Now, so many years later, I can tell you that time really does heal. This place and people have also helped me heal. I'm so sorry for your pain. You touched my mother's heart with this piece, of yours. |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Thank you for your welcome and your kind words Martie and please know that I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter… It is a pain no one should ever have to bear. Thank you for your words of hope as well… Tammy<333 |
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| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
