»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Secrets (Final Part)
| Passions in Prose |
|
Secrets (Final Part) |
|
|
openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
It was with me every day. The moment I arrived at work, the moment my office door closed and I sat down in that leather chair of mine, I would hear it. I dreaded that chair. I had tried to tell Sara. I wanted to, though I doubted she would help me. I tried so hard but the moment I made the decision to act on my desire, my hum would transform into a violent throb that threatened to rip my consciousness apart. It was unbearable and indescribable. All day I could hear it. Not yours not yours not yours…I didn’t respond after that first day, at first praying that it would leave but soon came to regard it as a torture that I was forced to adapt to and though I tried, I could feel my will and sanity seeping away with every repetition of not yours… At the end of five days, I could tolerate it no longer. What do you want from me? I asked in defeat. I want you to kill Sara. Kill Sara. The words hung in my mind, almost echoing throughout. NO! That was the only answer I could allow myself. There was only silence after that. I was not relieved. The silence was not reassuring or comforting in any way. It was terrifying and ominous. Father would return. And return he did. I was free for the weekend but the moment I returned to work, the moment I touched my leather chair on Monday, Father returned with a new phrase. Kill Sara kill Sara kill Sara… NO NO NO NO NO I screamed in response. Still, Father persisted. It was constant and it was deafening, growing louder every day. By Wednesday, all sound was blocked by Father’s voice. And now, worst of all, there was no escape. Last week, Father only spoke to me when I was in the office. This new message was all the time: at the office, in the car, at home. At home was when it was worst. With Sara. The closer I was to Sara, the louder Father cried his order of kill Sara kill Sara kill Sara. Ok, I finally told Father on Friday. Ok what? I’ll do it. I’m waiting. I’ll do it, Father. My shoulders fell and I stared at my desk, unmoving. Good dog. And then it was silent, save for the sound of my heavy breathing. There was no hum anymore. With a deep and heavy sigh, I placed both hands on the keyboard of my desk, opened my mailbox. Father yelled KILL SARA! I am not Alex, I told myself. I am not Alex. I am not Alex or Guy or Winston. I am Mal Father yelled KILL SARA! My vision blurred as I began to type my message. |
||
| © Copyright 2007 openthoughts - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
The ending is somewhat anti-climactic. Perhaps you are insinuating that the protagonist loses all control over himself? Or will the email that he is about to send somehow serve to kill Sara? Perhaps I have not read your story as astutely as I ought? Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
||
|
openthoughts Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94Where the child can be free |
I had very specifc reasons for ending this story the way I did. I honestly cannot imagining it ending any other way. My reasons shall remain my own for reasons that also shall remain my own. |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
OpenThoughts: Fair enough. We all have our muses. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
