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Point of No Return
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Point of No Return |
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Ketooaina Junior Member
since 2007-04-20
Posts 37Nucla, Colorado |
She was a girl of only eighteen. She grew up in a Christian home and attended a small church every week. She served the lord strongly until a short while ago, when her life started to crumble along the edges. She started to drift away from God a little at a time. She started to listen to sinful music and watch sinful movies. Eventually she started going to parties, getting wasted on alcohol, and abusing drugs. She was that way for a year or so until she was a long ways off from the arms of the God she had served so strongly. Eventually, her friends had left her, she failed every class, and her and her family fought constantly. It got to the point where she was in a corner that she couldn’t back out of. One night, while she was sleeping, she had a dream. She dreamed that she was walking down a dimly lit hallway. It was silent and empty. Up ahead was a turn to another hall. As she turned the corner, the walls, floor and ceiling before her were suddenly covered in blood. Seeing all of the blood made her nauseous and frightened. She tried to turn back, but met a dead end. So she turned back around and began to walk down the terrifying hallway. Every time her feet would hit the floor, blood would spatter. The sound of it echoed throughout the empty hall. She looked straight ahead as she walked, not looking at the gruesome sight before and around her. Suddenly, a spot of white appeared at the end of the hall. As she got closer, she realized that the spot of white was a man. She couldn’t she his face, but his presence put her in a sort of peacefulness. When she reached him, he held out his hands, waiting to embrace her with comfort. She looked at his hands and saw two identical scars in each palm. She hesitated, not knowing if she should take his hands within hers. Suddenly the man spoke. His voice rang strong and pure within the hall. He said, “Now is the time. You either serve me, or you will be left alone to wander this world of tragedy and sin.” As soon as these words clicked in her mind, she made the choice that would change her life forever. She raised her hands and gently placed them within the Lord’s beautiful healing hands. As soon as their skin made contact, she woke up. Sitting up in bed, she suddenly began to pray. Her prayers were viciously intense as she asked the Lord for forgiveness. The next day, she told her closest friend and her mom about her dream. Now she is living completely for God and living a life of peace. The End |
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| © Copyright 2007 Jayre - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading this...James |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This piece is nice but it is too short. The dream (I like dreams in stories and I generally enjoy having dreams and writing them down) could have been longer. But in making it longer you might have risked adding too much emotion to the point that the piece looked like an email forward. The ending was far too abrupt. Furthermore little detail is given about your protagonist's fall from grace. I think it all too common among Christian writers that a life without Christianity = circumstances that don't deserve description. I am a Christian but I do still like to heard about the fall into sin. Was she stricken with family problems? Did some mysterious young crush entice her? Did she doubt? Sin is evil, yes, but it is universal. To write a veil over sin rather than to rip it open for all to see is no better than to create a repressive society in which Christianity is forced upon people rather than Christ being allowed to come to every man, woman, and child. Thanks for the write. Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
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