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The Lesser of the Lightweight
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The Lesser of the Lightweight |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina 
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Hope nobody's really offended by this. You have to remember, I speak in metaphors and one thing always means something else. Just try to hear the message. Also remember that I don't write to shock, I only write what I think and who I am. Danke -------- The Lesser of the Lightweight He woke up in a barren wasteland, barren except for the unfortunate fact that it was inhabited. It was called Earth for that seemed a fitting name; and there was a God above this Earth, a God who took ample time to make and populate it. But these people on the Earth were all vainglorious cretins, every one of them. All were in the spotlight; all got enough as far as attention went. Except him, who got nothing in the realms of human awareness; he was totally and completely insignificant. He might have been so insignificant, that even God forgot all about him… Well, after God made this place He decided it was too dark; so He thought to tear open the sky to let through the sun thus insuring life and light. The land then changed from shaded to lit and all was better. Upon seeing this marvel, the peoples of Earth were mesmerized like children. The sound of ripping and tearing gave them erotic sensations that they had never known. Soon enough, all the people began to rip their own clothes and any material they could find to pleasure themselves with the euphonious sound. Days and days of this passed until the cloth depleted and there was no more to rip. The people then found themselves naked and without cloth to cover or pleasure themselves through ripping. Naked and for the first time discovered their skin, their skin was soft and material-like to them. Not long after their realization, they began ripping their own skin; every person, ripping himself and herself to shreds, even the children and primates, all ripping. It was an orgy of self-mutilation. So fast the Earth turned that they destroyed themselves for pleasure of the ears. It wasn’t long ‘til they ripped themselves apart releasing their bodily fluids and organs… and blood. Soon, every human was dead and completely disemboweled and the world was flooded with their fluids and innards… All except one, the insignificant man did not partake in these erotic massacres; like everything else he was left out and ultimately spared for it. His transparency saved him from tearing himself limb to limb and into shreds and fragments… But still he was surrounded by others as before, just in a more fluid sense. Yet this time he was floating on top of them and the world; he was the center of attention, his number was only one. There was none greater than he. He was at perfect peace as he floated and glided across the entire Earth on the tides of human carrion... Peace... It was into the insides of every human that he drowned and died. The great flood composed of ex-people engulfed the Earth; and soon engulfed him when he tired of swimming, for the liquid was glutinous and dense, and the tides turned halcyon and became stagnant. The Earth then soaked up the fluid humans and there was no more left other than stench and chunky leftovers of creatures. But he, the insignificant man was not soaked into the Earth. His body was whole and intact… and dead. When the people were sucked into Mother he was left out solid and defunct, again, and was dead and alone in the world as he was before. Note: Also, I want to make clear that I have never taken drugs, lol. I usually get the response of "what drugs were you taking when this was written" but rest assured I value my mind too much to drug it up. Thanks again and sorry if this offended anybody, it was certainly not intended. Cheers - Ed Yes it's me... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Interesting. What about deaf people? Did they hear the music and want to tear their clothes/skin off? I would be interested in what muse led to this story. It's fascinating to see the path to creativity. I wasn't offended by the story but found it a bit morbid but I did keep reading just to find out why the one person didn't react as the other had. That he felt insignificant didn't quite sound right. Thanks for the read! |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
"Interesting. What about deaf people? Did they hear the music and want to tear their clothes/skin off?" Tryin' to stump me? LOL, I love it... It's mostly meant as a metaphor like I said, not to be put in a literal setting. And if you want to get specific, the deaf joined in because of the magnitude. The sky rips wide open, that's something even the deaf could hear and if not that maybe the sight of it. My muse? Lack of sleep maybe? lol. No, I didn't really have a muse (And it's not about me or anybody for that matter). The time was around 4 a.m. and I was trying to write but hadn't gotten anywhere, when I thought how flooded the world is with people; I just took that thought and made it literal. Yes it is morbid, but so is life sometimes no matter how rosy you look at it. Not to be dramatic but darkness is a wonderful thing; it makes light look better. If it were light all the time, humans would only wear sunglasses to make it dark… "That he felt insignificant didn't quite sound right." Everything doesn't always have to sound right. Sometimes the truest things are just anomalies without reasons. I usually don’t get “torn apart" about how my thoughts sound, (pun intended,  )Thanks for the read; I was starting to think it wasn’t right for the forum. Cheers - Ed Yes it's me... |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I do not consider this piece shocking. The wording is interesting. "Erotic massacre" is a good example. I can appreciate that you use metaphor, but still I am not certain that having metaphor with all vehicle and no tenor is the best approach. That is, you claim to write entirely in metaphor and then present us with humanity. Thus I assume that I am reading a story that is making some kind of statement about something -- and I know not what -- using humanity and a simplistic Judeo-Christian narrative as a vehicle. This leaves your story open so much to interpretation that it really means nothing at all. For example, two possible interpretations: 1. This story represents the human fixation upon single elements of the universe to the detriment of all other concerns. This fixation results in the human race destroying itself. 2. This story is a kind of atheistic messiah tale, wherein the protagonist is granted the whole of the universe's indifference, returning it in kind to all humanity. He exemplifies nature's indifference to mankind because he does not partake of the orgies of self mutilation but rather looks on uncaring. Ultimately is he consumed by just another part of an uncaring universe - the destroyed flesh of the people around him. He dies intact, but dies nonetheless. Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
For the most part, your message was fairly accurate. When I say I speak in metaphors, I am not saying that every little point in the piece is an individual metaphor but rather the whole thing itself is a metaphor. That probably doesn’t make sense. "This leaves your story open so much to interpretation that it really means nothing at all." Are you saying that anything that is not plain and ridiculously obvious means nothing? In literature, sometimes ambiguity is essential. It allows each reader to make up their own mind about the piece. Just because something has multiple meaning, doesn't mean it has no meaning at all, quite the opposite (but I see your point). Your interpretations: Number 1, I wouldn't agree with. Number 2... hmm. "This story is a kind of atheistic messiah tale, wherein the protagonist is granted the whole of the universe's indifference, returning it in kind to all humanity." Whoa now! First off, I'm Catholic; so you can throw that out the window. In my "contents under pressure" head, this story was almost like a warped Adam and Eve story. The people of earth saw God do something fantastic and they themselves wanted to do the same. But their version was destructive and morbid, unlike His tearing open the sky to give light, which was a good thing. "He exemplifies nature's indifference to mankind because he does not partake of the orgies of self mutilation but rather looks on uncaring." The reason he didn't join is that he felt so insignificant he felt he wasn't worthy to try to imitate God. “He might have been so insignificant, that even God forgot all about him…” "Ultimately is he consumed by just another part of an uncaring universe - the destroyed flesh of the people around him. He dies intact, but dies nonetheless." The whole concept of dying intact is both a positive and negative thing. On the positive note, he didn’t destroy himself like everyone else and he got his few moments of peace. On the negative side, yes he died and he wasn’t soaked into the earth like everyone else, he was left alone. I see why you feel the way you do. I don’t write for other people, and I won’t ever be able to nor will I ever deny it. The things I write, unfortunately, won’t be understood by too many people because a lot of the time I can’t even pinpoint meaning; I try to not be burdened with connotations or reasons. That’s probably why I won’t ever publish anything; like Kafka maybe (not that I comparing ‘cause there’s no resemblance). I only post here on occasion to see people’s reactions and have a little fun. I appreciate the thoughts. Danke |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
I got a sense of this poignant isolation and segregation from the rest of the world, not only physically but through thoughts and opinion. One line I thought seemed to be for "shock value" : "Soon, every human was dead and completely disemboweled and the world was flooded with their fluids and innards" Your writing is very much metaphorical and poetic, whereas this line seemed to be picked from a completely different persons perspective. Nonetheless, this write made me stop and read it through three times. It has such a powerful message and ambiguity. Truly compelling, and I didn't find it morbid at all. |
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
There is something Freudian about this, if this had been a dream and not a write it would have born interpretation well. I do however, see very little difference in dreams to our muse! May I suggest that if you consider the lone non survivor as yourself and then do an analysis around the piece you may my 'Freudian' viewpoint on this. I did, however, get drawn into the piece and in that respect it was well presented.... Ivor |
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