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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2006-02-24 10:38 PM

I'm not sure if this would be considered poetry or prose, or kinda both. lol let me know if you understand exactly what this is supposed to be, I just wrote it. Let me know if you like it too!

I'm different. The hair on my head is full of twists and turns as the straightener bares down on it's now straight terrain. My eyes can't decide which color they'd like to be, rather switching with each outfit, either appearing like crystal blue stones emerging from the water, or as grass on the feilds, speckled with dots of brown. My skin is full of scars, scratches and canyons of pores, washed free of dirt by the river of water from the shower each day. I'm nothing extraordinary. My old jeans full of holes, making them even more "in", are three years old and wearing, nothing of envy, my sweatshirts show stains from my lack of control when it comes to consuming food through my mouth rather than my shirt, and my socks are loose on my feet. But my hands. My hands are what separated me. My hands are what tell the tale of my life, the gruesome and the passion I endure every day. The ingravings of my palm are proof alone that God made me unique, making rivers of creases in my seventeen year old hands, some like c's, some like lines. Calusus have formed on my right middle finger, my writing companion, where I always manage to draw pen marks all over my finger, making pictures of the difficulties of my day. My nails are nothing of envy. The day's activities caused me stress, leaving nothing left but stubs of nails on my hands for the nerves that overtook my mouth. The pain is seen in the cuticles, where my biting has caused blood. In every day there is pain. The paint on my hands colors the blase' flesh on which it covers. Splotches here. Splotches there. What is left over from the day of love on paper. My hands create beauty through the pain, the passion, the nerves, and the imperfections. My hands hold the many mistakes of my art, which in turn make it even more beautiful. And so I continue. My long fingers reach out and find the brush. From then on it's only poetry.

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-02-25 12:07 PM

i think i understand it. i like the way you discribed yourself comparing it to terrian water and grass. thats creative

Jessica

Where your heart lays
is where you belong.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-04-10 05:34 PM

wow..........!!! OMG. I loved this.. I dont think that I couldv'e ever done something that set off like this.. i always try to make a really good ending line to make the whole poem come together. this is kinda more prose.. but.. i have some that now that i've read yours might put on here... i loved it.. I loved how you described each little thing about you with detail.. great job.. want to hear more like this..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 248

3 posted 2006-04-17 09:16 PM

Erin!!! I agree with Heather, I loved this. Such a true, perfectly written piece. This is both, and neither, prose and poetry. So well done, but then again, everything you write is. I love this

<3kerR

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

scyzoryk_o4
Junior Member

since 2006-05-23

Posts 36
Canada and Poland

4 posted 2006-05-24 06:35 PM

Hey, i think its more prose then poetry but im no expert. Anyways It sounds good and flows well. Good stuff

Maksym

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

5 posted 2006-09-25 09:18 PM

Honestly, there was nothing I disliked about this piece. It was beautifully written.
My Literature teacher would be impressed!
Quite frakly, I'm impressed as well.
PERFECT!

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

6 posted 2006-09-26 09:38 AM

An extraordinary work from an obviously extraordinary individual. There is a marked ocean in our ages, yet one not yet 20 has inspired one almost 50. My thanks.

Sandra

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2006-10-01 02:39 AM

I wouldn't worry about what category of writing this is. Looks like prose to me.

You might like to correct the grammar in some places, like "the gruesome and the passion" bit.

Any idiot can see that the result is true.
-- argumentum ad idiotum
Me!

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