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Human Nature, Sorting it Out
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Human Nature, Sorting it Out |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Why write or publish I wonder. I know I haven’t the time to edit or precisely place the exact words or pillow the feeling I want to convey, and for whom to convey it to, I do not know. Like a balloon blown to the extreme, I wonder if I’ll burst, or will the air be patient and lifting? I’ve always believed man is born of innocence, with the desire to love and please others, to be loved, and to improve his nature in some small way. Innately, he is born good! A recent situation stirs my anger, but simultaneously, it stirs my desire to reason so that rather than to burst, I shall rise. The situation is this. My mother is eighty-four years old, living in the farmhouse she has lived most of her life. Her actions are of a gallant and noble woman, speaking from the depths of the Great Depression. To this day, she lives sparing, yet, shares ninety percent of what she has. My heart is almost broken when I realize she, again, rents her house to afford the increase in fuel oil costs. She now has two cognitively disabled men living above her. (She took them in years ago when they needed a home and no one else would have them.) In addition, four new tenants have moved in the rest of the house to make it possible for her to remain in her favored home. The rooms she leaves herself have inadequate heat. She is trying to remedy the situation by enlarging the heat duct from the kitchen that leads into her bedroom, but as of the early winter months, it is ineffectively heated. I worry. Relatives offer to help financially. Will the responsible, loving woman accept charity? No, she will have a fix-it-man visit again and will pay him with her own money, now received from the new tenant family. The acceptance of charity is prevented by her work ethic. Will I find her frozen to death one morning? Will my children? When at her house, I find this silver haired wonder sitting in her chair elevated by a wooden platform she made with her table saw. She has no blanket wrapped around her, as I sit shivering in my winter coat. When she was a child, she endured the lack of heat and is bound and determined that she can do it again. I ask her to come live with us; she won’t. Too proud and determined to be overtaken by the elements of nature, as well as human nature! Human nature. I find I know nothing of the beast. All my life, I’ve been fortunate enough (or, have I?), to be in the company of cream-of-the-crop, honest, compassionate people. By having been so blessed, I did not see the bad or ugly. Today, it has come to my home, to the air I breathe, to my little paradise of goodness. The saga of my mother’s charity continues. Across from the farmhouse, rests a very small cottage my mother rents to people who have been recommended to her. The rent she requires is unreasonably inexpensive because she commits herself to her belief that young people need a break when starting out in life. Recently, after two years of irregular rent or no rent at all, she asks the tenants to leave. Although I am proud of my mother for giving people opportunities and for listening to their stories when difficulty arises, I am prouder of her for standing up to them when she learns of their dishonesty and lack of integrity. For certain, these tenants lie, steal, and are deceitfully receiving unemployment benefits from the government. The man works under the table and the woman stays at home raising a baby, an advantage that I was unable to afford while paying the government one third of my salary to help their families and the other dishonest people like them. ( I have no qualms about honest people utilizing of the Unemployment System when there are no alternatives.) My handicapped mother offered these tenants friendship and support. After being evicted for being close to $2000 behind in their rent (many months of free rent, basically) they showed their gratitude of this eighty-four old woman, who lives sparing on food and heat, by throwing mounds of cans and trash among the trees my sister and I had planted near the little house my grandfather had built. After they did this, they reported my mother to the health department for having a cistern and whatever else they chose to report. (The man at the health department says this is a common vindictive action evicted people often take.) He is unconcerned with the house after investigating. We haven’t seen the inside of the cottage, but I can only imagine the damage they have gifted us. Human nature… I often ask. When to fight? How to fight? Still, I ask myself what system is better than the Golden Rule. I am calmed and shall not burst. A balloon, upward lifting I strive to be--Just like the Great Woman and mother I know! [This message has been edited by miscellanea (12-01-2005 12:22 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I know this woman... and I will be back to offer more, soon. But I'm smiling at another such woman, who found a moment to share someone momentous... and I thank you for this sliver of silver light.  . |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
why not convince your mother to do a reverse mortgage if her property is paid for and then she will be able to have what she needs fixed and live more comfortably at least with the basic necessities...if not more. I know this is a touchy issue for those who hope to inherit but check into it with the idea that eventually it will still be inherited with the reverse mortgage repaid by the inheritors...that way she isn't taking money from anyone...just benefitting by the property she owns and maintained all those years. Then you have to wonder how much of this is not due to the aging process and at some point someone in the family will have to take guardianship and make sure the debts to your mother are paid by those living off of her. I am not sure if I am making myself clear..but I do know some who are doing the reverse mortgage and are your mother's age. I saw a neighbor who was renting across the street damage the whole house by kicking out porch railings and windows letting the heat out ...when evicted for non payment...it took 6 months to evict them legally and in the meantime they didn't pay any bills and lived off their young children's benefits for being somehow disabled or mentally challenged. Never sent them to school and I always saw the bus there honking it's horn and whenever I went to the dollar store they were all always in there shopping. So it isn't easy to get rid of poor paying renters and maybe with a reverse mortgage your mother would not need to have to rent. Just some thoughts Maureen |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Sunshine, I'm so glad you know her. She is a light in my life. hugs, misce Maureen, You have given this great thought and good advice. We realize that the time will come to take more responsibility in her decisions, but presently, she is doing much of this to keep her mind active. When renting the farmhouse, she has had to develop a better system of organization, storage, and is forcing herself to have to distribute things she no longer needs or desires. As it is, her mind is good. We check on her daily by visit or phonecall. What do I say? She wants her independence. We live about a half mile from her and can be there in a flash if she needs us. We continue to ask her to stay at our house, but as of now, she won't. However, she has assured us that if it gets down in the 20's and the heating situation isn't remedied, she will stay then So far, it has not become too cold, and I anticipate that her friend, the fix-it man, will return soon with proper fixings. I'll tell her about the reverse morgage plan. Thanks for your information and concern! hugs, miscee |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Sis, I have been outragged by the tenants' actions for the past year, as you know, and perhaps, I did not have the benefit of remaining in the world of "good" and had to learn things the hard way. This is a dog-eat-dog world, for the most part. That's why I truly find PIP a haven of sorts. Birds of a feather, you know. I worry about Mom on a daily basis, as you know, but this week things are sounding better from your end of the world. How she could have put up with these crooks, I really don't know, really!!!! She was more patient than I ever could be and I am pretty patient. I think, perhaps, it has to do with fear. As we age, fear is our biggest enemy. Great write, sis. ....joPS: Don't forget, what goes around always comes back around. They will get there just desserts when the All that is All deems it the appropriate time! It is hard to understand "people" like that. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Yep. Just desserts is the way I figure it, too. love you, misce |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Those who do acts of kindness without any desire for rewards in this world is very rare. |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Miscellanea it is not what others do we should be concerned about, it’s what we do ourselves that has any value. I’m sure your mother understands this or she would not be who she is all these years. Kindness is often misunderstood. Kindness is important, not what comes of it. I live out in the country and the nearest town is thirty miles away. When a homeless man with a bed roll on his back asked if I would drive him to town to catch a bus to another part of the state. I said I would even though it was 10 degrees outside, late in the evening and driving on the ice and snow packed roads was not wise. When I asked him if he knew why I was doing it. He replied, “God told you.” I told him I was relieved he didn’t request me to take him across the state. When I took him to town and realized I had missed the street to the bus station and was going to turn around. He told me to just stop and let him out that he was going to have to hitchhike out of town. So I let him out. I had done what I was requested. Yet when I told him I would do what ever he requested he asked me not. There are reasons why some of us are kind. God knows those reasons. It’s not what others may think foolish because of the outcome. It’s the act kindness that counts. Your mother is one of those rare breeds left in this world that answers to a higher cause. You’re very lucky to have her influence in your life as a tribute to what kindness is all about. What you see as someone, who suffers, God sees someone who loves him. Thank you for sharing. Merlyn |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Merlyn, I'm sure you are right. I'm also believe that the man who hitch hiked in the extremely cold weather will forever remember your act of kindness. Thank you for your insight, Merlyn. miscellanea |
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