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Autumn meets winter.
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Autumn meets winter. |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
Quite frankly Autumn was a women obsessed. Her growth of character seemed to rely fully on becomming the ideals he spoke about. She was a self-proclaimed prophet of art, surveying a scene and picking apart abstractions, she would pick up what she called "clean trash" off the side of the road and made large collages. She painted her walls a new color every season. She was tortured though by this, her ever growing desire to find the abnormal within everyday life and eleborate on it. She was always messy about things, her last boyfriend Riso called her pet names, she hated him but she liked his crooked smile and the way he swung his head back when he laughed. She was always caught in the mess of choosing companions because of minor attractions and little things that really made no difference to character but that were merely habit, always drawn to creatures of habit because she was such an unorganized individual herself. He was different though, he was like her, this made her hands sweat and her neck and ears beat red. Autumn looked like her name and mother used to say she would grow up to be a steady women, they haven't seen each other for five years. Mother's disapointed. Autumn had orange frizzy hairs around her face just where its impossible to smooth down, and raging eyes that changed color. Right now they were aqua as she surveyed her freshly painted walls. She got all her inspiration from him lately, she felt like a women obsessed. On the surface he was a simple man, but he had daring eyes, they smiled, he knew something. That's why she made art of him though, he sparked a series of paintings centered around the theme of tunnels. Standing just outside her car door her hand frozen to the handle she swept her eyes across the landscape, she had noticed the new brand of light that presents itself just between autumn and winter. He put on his snow cap and followed her eyes. At once she ran to pummel him onto the rough pavement, she screamed like a child being viciously tickled. In this picture all the tress are chopped down. Autumn hong it above her bed. Power is everything to a women like that. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lexy~ I found myself quite fascinated with your story~ I believe you could eventually expand it even more~ A few spelling/typos ... but those are always easy to fix~ becomming ... becoming eleborate ... elaborate beat red ... beet red disapointed ... disappointed In this picture all the tress are chopped down ... trees hong ... hung I believe the seasons, Summer, Autumn, Winter and Summer 'should' be capitalized~ Now ... I'm sure there are others who can offer you more assistance in the areas of structure and proper punctuation for prose. I see talent in your prose ... hope to see more of it in the future~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*No matter what I search for ... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lexy, It seems the hardest part is proof reading our own writing. Took me years to have the courage to look at it again. But it is so distracting to find spelling errors as a reader. However, I did enjoy the write anyway. You have a creative imagination, something I lack. Hope you keep writing. Thanks.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Lexy, I too enjoyed the story..and hope you write more... a good way to proof ones own work is to read it backwards.  oh and the name Autumn is what made me read...as that is my Grand daughters name and she has some red in her hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes...sometimes the name just fits perfectly. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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