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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2005-10-28 10:39 PM

We was poor. Didn't have no toys.  I was born on Christmas eve.  My folks wrapped me up in old newspapers and left me under the Christmas tree.  I was four years old before my sister figured out I wasn't a Cabbage Patch doll.

When I was five, my daddy fixed me a slippery slide for my birthday/Christmas present. He greased
up the roof and had me slide down the shingles.  My sister to this day still calls me lardass.

When I was eight, I wanted a pony more than anything in the world.  Christmas dawn I ran out into the back yard.  There was a rope tied to the tree with a pile of horse manure on the ground beside the tree.  My daddy came out and said, "looks like Santa didn't tie your pony up very well and he got away."  I looked for my pony every day for a year before I finally gave up.  For years whenever I saw a horse, I wondered if he was mine.  That horse was the best present I ever got in my whole life.

My mother bought all my clothes at garage sales.  I didn't mind trying on the shirts and jeans so much, but it was a bit embarrassing to try on the underwear standing there next to eight-track tapes and used bowling balls on somebody's lawn.

When I was twelve, my daddy gave me a box of twenty-two shells.  Every Saturday morning he would give me one shell out of the box.  Then he would give me his twenty-two rifle and tell me to go shoot a rabbit for our supper.  If I missed the rabbit, I had to run him down 'cause daddy expected a rabbit for supper.

I wasn't much of a shot and unfortunately not a very fast runner. There was a busy highway near our house and there was plenty of roadkill as long as you could fight off the hawks.  I found out that hawks don't like the smell of lard and as long as you skinned it before you got home and slid
it down the roof a few times my daddy couldn't tell a possum from a rabbit.

I left home at sixteen.  Daddy gave me a going away present.  It was cardboard box to put all my belongings in.  It even had handles cut in the side so I could better carry it.  You just had to make sure the twenty-two shells didn't fall out them holes.  If I only would have had a twenty-two rifle.

Well, best be going, I hear they are having a monster garage sale on the other side of town and let me tell you, shingles and lard have a tendency to wear holes in your drawers and the good underwear will be gone if you're not there first thing.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2005-10-28 11:28 PM

Tim

I know this is supposed to be funny, and it is, yet I also felt so sad for this poor child...I sure hope it's not a true similarity to your growing up. I have a feeling it's not...yet

A sense of humor is a good thing to have when you're growing up, and grown...right?