Skin of Water Scattered in Images

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CalicoMemories
Junior Member

since 2004-08-31

Posts 15
the wind in the trees

0 posted 2004-08-31 06:50 PM

In pools of green, I see night pass before his eyes.  I know each distance this moment brings each between that will settle like the dark night.  Over the vain and superficial emotions around us, once your heart felt comfortable breathing was easy, now darkness has settled like familiar cobwebs hanging, waiting for shading winds to blow them apart.

The skies always seemed gray.  Rough stone and skin of water just out of sight-- you would not wish to see the hands that fragmented the rainbow or the clock with no face and numbers in random order.

I never captured the images of evanescent angels or the sound of their wings. I do not try anymore but the winds know and whisper to breezes.

How weak I must be to accept fate - this fate with little compromise.  I allowed him to steal my eyes even the color ran together blurring my vision.  I did not know reality would leave in hurried steps.  Count them one by one hundreds, thousands.

The air is still within the silence of these walls, smoke rising in the shadows overhead, funny I never noticed its dance - spiral rotation long in form until it disappears.  Somewhat like love, I never imagined how hard it was going to be to allow the walls to fall and take shape, at first it was new, the experience was fresh, like rose petals, with new morning dew soon after my first child darkness set in, and time was never a friend.

I fooled myself into thinking after her birth life would be normal but it was not, stress was vivid and very colorful, money was short but I think we were happy, I wanted to believe that.

Emotionally, I was drained - as any new mother would feel, but it took form in ways I never thought my life would go.  I am not sure of the point in time when it all began, or the exact moment I lost my-self but once that corner was turned all reality after ceased.

The abuse was never ‘apparent’ - meaning it was slow to rear its ugly head, emotionally and unworthy nonetheless it crept in like cancer and took over every vein.  Each day dawning was different as they should be, yet classic in routine of daily life - when darkness fell so did all my hope and faith.

I often wished for night to never exist or end quickly -- it did not matter the mood or time I was always the target of hateful words, and eyes of evil. I have to explain it this way, I did not want to believe it, that someone who was so different by day, could become so abusive by night.

I often wondered if I changed would he? If I changed the color of my hair, or even my makeup, the way I dressed, anything, would it help. It went on for years this way, emotionally I was lost, and longing to feel love, even anger, anything to help me make it through another day.  I never got my wishes,

but that is a different story all together.

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

1 posted 2004-09-02 10:44 AM

Poetic prose. Welcome to Passions!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2004-09-02 06:25 PM

Calico~
Welcome to PiP~

I've read this three times now, and will read it over and over~
Feeling your feelings as the story developed ... I felt anger, sadness, protective feelings and then again anger at the perpetrator of bad things~

This is really, really good~
I hope to read more of your writing~

Once again, let me warmly welcome you to this circle of writers and friends~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email [email protected]

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-09-05 02:27 AM

Welcome to Passions, CalicoMemories. I do identify with this. It is so hard not to lose yourself into the role of mother and wife. But here, you are you. And, I think you are a great writer!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2004-09-05 01:01 PM

Extremely well written.
Welcome to Passions!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have the sand in my shoes. ~

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

5 posted 2004-09-05 03:02 PM

CalicoMemories,
Not only is prose a brave place to start but what courage to write this topic. I am very impressed. Welcome to Passions and I look forward to reading more. Peace.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

6 posted 2004-09-06 04:13 PM

how one could be so different in the night from day...  and wondering if the changes  made would fix the problem...

  I can't think of a good response other than the changes need to come within the abuser, not the victim.  This is heart wrenching.

           miscellanea

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