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Taking a moment
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Taking a moment |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I know that I scare people sometimes; the way I talk and mostly the way I don’t talk. I just kind of sit there absorbing. People don’t like when you don’t readily share what’s on your mind with them. They think you’re hiding something. And you probably are. But, what’s funny is, it never has anything to do with them. So, what if you are hiding? Do they really have a right to know? Not usually. People who share every little thought that’s on their mind leave me awestruck. I’m not jealous, but neither am I annoyed. It’s just so hard to imagine being that way. To tell anyone and everyone everything that you’re thinking; to not have a natural tendency to protect your thoughts and mind and heart. I just can’t share so easily. I wish I wouldn’t pull away so often though. Especially from those that I do want to be close to. It’s ingrained in me, I guess; a lesson from life. Sometimes if people don’t think I’m hiding something, then they think I don’t have anything worthwhile to say. It’s funny, but that doesn’t bother me either. Not usually anyway. Maybe it depends on the person. I do wonder sometimes why I don’t feel the need to give my opinion more often. I have strong ideas on things. Maybe in those instances it’s more a fear than a tendency. Does everyone spend this much time trying to understand themselves? I think when you share ideas aloud to others it helps you sort through things, but that’s so risky. I’d rather share them aloud to myself and get it sorted out and just right and then share. You never know what someone may remember. And my thoughts are constantly changing. Some are universal, but so many grow with me. That’s only natural. And I don’t want to give someone the wrong idea of who I am. Exactly, who am I? Now, that’s an interesting question with an ever-changing answer and yet a constant thread. How well do you know yourself? Another interesting question. Yet, how much time is too much time to revolve around yourself? And how much is not enough? When do you reach the point past self-neglect and before self-obsession? More interesting questions. And so a new discussion begins, but one I’ve had too many times. With myself, of course. I think I’ve crossed that line often. I don’t understand people who don’t like to discuss things. Well, some things. We all have things we don’t want to discuss. But, some people never really get into any “real” conversations. I can’t understand that. Then there are those who talk and talk and never say anything. They do annoy me. What a waste. Yet, I sit here with all these thoughts in my head and only share them on occasion. Is that also a waste? I write them. Maybe that’s my salvation. It angers me how much time I wasted not writing. I still don’t put words down often enough. So many have been lost. Muttered on my lips with no one to hear, but myself, and no paper for them to fall onto. They simply disappear into time. Time disappears all too quickly and I have to stop saying, “tomorrow, tomorrow.” Because it never happens “tomorrow” and time also captures those good intentions. Time is a horrible thief. So subtle is it that I forget to be angry at it and keep placing my hopes on it saying, “tomorrow, tomorrow,” forgetting about all those other tomorrows I’ve wasted. Maybe someday time and I will make peace and I’ll take a moment and enjoy it. Part of me thinks that time would actually like that, because I don’t think that it means to be so greedy. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
So subtle is it that I forget to be angry at it and keep placing my hopes on it saying, “tomorrow, tomorrow,” forgetting about all those other tomorrows I’ve wasted. A nice piece of work with a good lesson told, and loved your introspection of self. Too much time is wasted on how we spend time, instead of seizing the moment we have. Liked this a lot.  ~ Blessed Be ~ |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Endlessecho, Incredible depth here. I want to comment more, but I hear the troops a-coming for supper. I'll catch you later about this when I can spend more time, but meanwhile, I want you to know, it is very good and much enjoyed. |
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Kie Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 77USA |
I could really relate to this piece. I have thought, pondered, all of the points you mentioned. Writing is my alternative to verbally prattling on. I LOVED this and I wanted to tell you what a remarkable job you have done relating your thoughts to the reader. I commend you. Kie |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
I know that I scare people sometimes; the way I talk and mostly the way I don’t talk. I just kind of sit there absorbing. People don’t like when you don’t readily share what’s on your mind with them. They think you’re hiding something. And you probably are. But, what’s funny is, it never has anything to do with them. I really enjoyed all of your prose, but remember this...Much enjoyed. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. ~Sadelite~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sade and I pounced on the same beginning lines. There are more of us like you than you might imagine. I will come back tonight for an indepth read. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Wow. I really didn't expect such a positive response. Though I love writing, I feel I sometimes have a hard time expressing myself in a clear way. I'm really glad you all enjoyed this peice and understood it. And that it could affect you. Thank you ALL for reading and for your wonderful comments!  |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
i can actually relate to this .i dont share everything even with my close friends. a very well written piece. |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
i just read this once again today and im amazed at how much i could relate to this... also uve expressed it in such an amazing way.. i really loved this.i knw ive already posted but i just felt like telling u again..lol a123 |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Endlessecho, -------------------------------- Time is a horrible thief. So subtle is it that I forget to be angry at it and keep placing my hopes on it saying, “tomorrow, tomorrow,” forgetting about all those other tomorrows I’ve wasted. Maybe someday time and I will make peace and I’ll take a moment and enjoy it. Part of me thinks that time would actually like that, because I don’t think that it means to be so greedy. ---------------------------------------- It is hard to be subtle about such good writing. It is even harder to imagine that such depth of sharing could ever come from one who does not excel at sharing. Perhaps you ration too much your deep morsels of insight. Perhaps not. Only your opinion on that really matters. But I must say how much this piece means to me. It makes me want to know more of you and your thoughts. So patiently I'll wait for my next portion. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
a123 - I'm very happy you could find understanding and a commonness in my writing! Thank you for your comments. Larry - Thank you so much. You give me so much in your writings, I'm so happy that I was able to recipricate here and share something that touched you. :-) |
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UniqueFreak Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 62Scotland |
loved this also...reminded me of a song, some of the lyrics being "Time keeps running away, no matter whats left behind it keeps on moving. Tomorrow is not in today and all of our yesterdays are, only a matter of, time" Thanks for sharing! Steph |
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