navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Your Other Half
Passions in Prose
Post A Reply Post New Topic Your Other Half Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario

0 posted 2003-06-11 05:05 PM


You're trapped and feeling like the worlds closing in on you. The walls of a tiny box, claustrophobic in it's need to smother you. Crawling around, on this tiny box-floor, trying to avoid the dirt
that is the color of your mind, and trying to get away from the bugs that are your demons, you're screaming for release. No one can hear you, you see, not even me, and l'm the only one who knows. Or the only one who cares, anyway. lf you were to picture me, you'd probably try to imagine a girl, pretty and sweet, maybe with pretty blond hair
and sweeet blue eyes. No. Black hair - the color of my soul. Death green eyes - the color of jealousy, envy. YOu'd picture yourself - l am you. The other half. And even as you cry, trying to escape, you
hear my voice hissing in your mind, you're screaming and fleeing. But l follow you anywy, so you use music, volume so high, to drown me
out. But it doesn't work. l'm inside you, remember, and all you'll acheive is deafaning yourself, and then where will you be? l'm your other half, you see, the part of you without a conscounce, and you
can't ever be free of me. l'm your other half - without me, what would you be? Alone. l'm the only one that listens.



© Copyright 2003 lorretta - All Rights Reserved
tonia
Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 41
taiwan
1 posted 2003-06-20 09:50 PM


this is a really good piece, you did a good job on the way you protrayed your inner self. it's so true that people always contradict themselves, because there's always your other half telling you to do and not do this and that.
tonia =)

Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
2 posted 2003-06-22 03:46 PM


Greatness in the air Much enjoyed

I'm just kickin it up

laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
3 posted 2003-06-22 04:29 PM


thanx, guys... l usually don't get many responses here, but.. thanx.
it's probly cause l haven't been at pips much lately for more than a minute at a time, been sick last couple days, but..
thank you, for takin the time to read.
lol.
laurie.

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
4 posted 2003-07-12 05:04 PM


well at least i can now figure uot why i listen to music hier than 10 decibles. lol. good write i like it alot.

"i am in troble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages then help me.
at the end of the rope taking my last breath "

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
5 posted 2004-04-08 12:24 PM


this is really good lor.
ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2004-04-27 03:47 PM


Hey girl, this is powerful! I just noticed it was posted way back and boosted up by someone, which is a good thing as I missed it the first time.
*Thunderous applause*
Love, Liz xxx

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

pictureme
Member
since 2003-11-28
Posts 248
Ohio, USA
7 posted 2004-04-30 10:29 PM


Hello Laurie,
This was an enjoyable read and reminded me of myself. Sometimes my heart and my mind just can't seem to agree on life! :-)
Thanks for sharing,
pictureme :-)

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-05-01 11:32 AM


The inner self working its way out to be examined.  Very nice read.
JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


UniqueFreak
Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 62
Scotland
9 posted 2004-05-09 01:14 PM


ahh glad im not the only one who has a constant nagging voice in my head! lol

Stephi

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Your Other Half

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary