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Cool Universe IX and a half
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Cool Universe IX and a half |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Cool Universe by mirror man Chapter 9 ½ The King Rat called an emergency meeting that night. “Fellow rats!” he shouted above the mob of endless rats assembled in the basement of Abnorman’s house. “As you all know by now, an unperceived event has occurred which, if left unchecked, could lead to the undoing of all our careful work. I am referring, of course, to the visitation of Abnorman’s father. I mean his real father, the one with the space ship and who calls himself Kulaat.” “Gazoontight,” said a rat. “Thank you,” said King Rat. Hee hee. “To continue,” said King Rat seriously, holding up a pittypat, “we must not allow this Kulaat to interfere with our plans.” “What will we do?” said another rat. “We have already done something,” said King Rat. “We have issued this Kulaat a warning. We have told him, in no uncertain terms, that he is to stay away from Abnorman at all times and never return to Planet Cool. Furthermore, we have told him, also in no uncertain terms, that if he does not, then he will face the consequences of our actions.” “Oooo, cool,” said another rat. “UN!cool,” said King Rat. “Oh yeah.” “What about the Tome of Niceness?” said another rat. “Good question,” said King Rat appreciatively. “The Tome of Niceness is an obvious source of psychological warfare. We will deal with the Tome shortly.” Great cheering and pittypat clapping all around. Meanwhile, up in space, Kulaat and Grope were busy working on their space clutch when a priority message was received from Planet Cool. “What is it now?” said Kulaat. Grope blinked once, meaning he would get it. He returned a minute later with a slip of paper which he handed to Kulaat. Kulaat read it and said, “Who the heck is King Rat?” Grope blinked three times, meaning it was the king of all rats on Planet Cool and that they were issuing Kulaat a threat of reprisal if he were to aide Abnorman, AAbnorman, in any further way, and that furthermore they were going to destroy the Tome of Niceness. “Well I’ll be!” said Kulaat. That was just his way of space swearing. I’ll be! this (unsaid), or I’ll be! that (unsaid), but never I’ll be! what (said). “What should we do?” said Kulaat. Grope blinked four times. “Oh what you said!” said Kulaat. Tsk, tsk. It must be remembered that Grope was a robot and therefore impressionable. He may have been watching Earth TV also. Grope blinked five times. “Now now,” said Kulaat. “That’s not very nice.” Said here with the most sincere expression of supreme civilization. Which is nice to know, that is, that Niceness had extended out to even space. “That really is below us,” said Kulaat, again with all humility, civility, and Niceness implied. “No, I think we’ll send your brother instead.” Grope blinked six times, meaning Can I watch? “Certainly,” said Kulaat. “Turn on the tube.” So Grope turned on the space tube, Kulaat called Grope’s brother, and the two of them forgot about the space clutch for the moment and sat back to watch. King Rat was only half way through his speech when a tremendous pounding came from the other side of the basement door. “Who the heck is that?” said King Rat. All rats stopped to listen. More pounding. “Go away,” said King Rat. “We’re having an important meeting.” More pounding, and louder. “Go away!” shouted King Rat. “We got here first.” Then suddenly the door cracked, and with another tremendous crash, something smashed a hole through the center of the door and a metal arm reached through and unlocked the door from the inside. “Yaaaa!” someone yelled. Then the door opened and a huge figure stepped through and stood in the shadow. The sickly light from the bare bulbs overhead gleamed a yellow light on its metal skin, turning it almost gold. The thing then stepped forward with a clank, and the figure of a black O was seen clearly on its chest. A metal face sneered back at them from behind a hardened plastic shield. “Yaaaa!” King Rat yelled. “It’s...it’s...the Okra Man!” “Yaaaa!” all the other rats yelled. “Run for your lives!” Then there was total chaos as the Okra Man pulled out his cannon and began spraying them with poison okra pellets. “Ha, ha, ha!” he said. Everywhere was pandemonium, rats running all which ways at once, as the Okra Man spread his lethal carnage across the great subterranean hall. Many rats keeled over on the spot, but thousands more scrambled to escape, and the Okra Man following them down, down, down through the catacombs of death and nearly to the gates of hell itself. It was a big basement. This lasted only a few minutes and was a humiliating rout for the King Rat and a most satisfying victory for the forces of Niceness. Grope blinked seven times, meaning Ah, life is good. And, off course, it helps if you’re not a rat. copyright 1998, 2000 Author’s note: this is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to real life hypocrites, bullies, and liars is merely coincidental. [This message has been edited by mirror man (07-13-2003 05:56 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 mirror man - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
To anyone reading this: Author's unpleasant note: this is the final and only version of this novel that I have released to the public. However, this novel has been copied and used by others without my knowledge or consent. So if you should happen to come across another copy of this novel, under this name or another, in any medium, on the web or not, it is not released with my knowledge and consent and so is pirate. Or plagiarism. Or both. |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Special note to teachers, educators: This novel, this version, may be copied and distributed in any medium as needed for classroom study. -- mirror man |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I must admit I'm totaly hooked to this story! |
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