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Ija
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Ija |
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Zodikry New Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 6 |
You know, I don’t know how many times it took me before I got it right. I would just sit there in front of the mirror talking to myself, well, talking to you I guess. We have spent a lot of time together, you and me. The first time I say you was initiation day the first week of 8th grade. You were completely drawn on, your hair several different colours. You looked ridiculous and you hade a huge smile on. You loved every moment of it. I remember the first time we ever talked, I commented on a necklace you were wearing. We were sitting side by side in our computer class. It was a couple days into grade 8th. Although strangely we didn’t become friends until we were half way through grade 10. If you think about it that was only 3 years ago. Can you believe that that is how long we have been friends for, only 3 years? It’s safe to say it feels like a lifetime more. It all started with that one conversation in the café about computer games and books. Next thing you know I was skipping study hall to hang with you in our secret corner by the music room. You were so easy to talk to, I’ve never opened up to someone so fast before. I even remember the first time you seen me cry, sitting in the stairwell while talking for hours. Since then in those 36 months I have become closer to you than anyone else I have ever met. If I could recall all the conversations we shared on the phone, I would loose track. It’s pretty obvious that we have talked about everything that can be talked about, literally. Even with all the possibilities in the end the topics never really seem to change, just us. We have gone from our philosophical dissection of everything in life, to our now much more realistic views of our corrupt pathetic little existence. We have gone from agonised dreamers to strong individuals ready to role with the good and the bad. God, the times we have shared, none of course more memorable than that summer after grade 11. That was a year I know neither of us will forget. We helped each other grow that summer and everyday since then. It was Mid July. You, Rebecca, Jean and myself got together at your house and shared a 12 pack or boomerangs. Man where we ever innocent back then. At least that’s how the night started. Us four just hanging out having fun. Until we went to that party at 2 in the morning. Rebecca spent the night puking her gut out, Jean kissed another guy , which I still don’t think Keith ever found out about, You spent the night with that Jason kid, and well let’s not get into what I did. But you know now that I look back, I don’t regret a moment of that night, I changed that night. I started the journey into what I am now. We shared our first drink together, not our first encounter with drugs, but we did shared just about everyone after that. We confined in each other about our depressions and our dealings with suicide. And of course it did not stop there, the next year, our senior one at that, was filled with its roller coasters. You and I went through crap that year. And I can truthfully say if it wasn’t for you I honestly don’t know how I would of done it. Everything from new friendships being made, to old ones forever ending. From friends trying to kill themselves, to our own very interesting encounters with our sexuality. Even to this point I cant picture what my life is going to be like without you. I broke down in tears when you’re mad at me, and now, they just don’t stop. I have forsaken love, never to let it touch me, but you, around you I felt alive. I would have done anything for you, I would have died for you, and I still wish I could have. I am scared enough now, worrying about what coming tomorrow, next week, or even a year from now. And now I have to add the fear that you will not be here to face it with me. I have never felt so alone. I have lost my confidante, my shoulder to cry on, and my best friend. I just hope that you know how much I loved you, and that somehow; somewhere you are watching over me, loving me too. You will always be the first and last in my heart. Good-bye Ija |
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| © Copyright 2003 Zodikry - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bec Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 475Canberra |
Hi Zodikry, I was just wondering if this is a true story? If it is, thank you so much for sharing it with us. It must have been hard for you, but it's full of so many positive memories. And if it isn't, you're a good writer, because I felt so sad reading that, like it was my own loss. Either way, it's a great read. The language is natural, descriptive and has some wonderful images. Bec  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you." |
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Fariegirl Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147 |
I liled this, hope to see more of you. ~*Love never said is love never felt.*~ |
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Fariegirl Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147 |
Liked* |
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