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Slow Reader
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Slow Reader |
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Zaynab Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 59Kuwait |
Slow Reader It's that time again. This time she's got a new blue one as well as the old red one. Maybe she's hoping I'll finish the red one. Will I this time? Will all those rebellious symbols on the page come together all of a sudden and she'll walk out of here with a smile on her face? Or will they ignore me as usual? They get into order for Mummy and other people that can read. Will they ever obey me like my toy soldiers or will they always conspire against me and continue to stop me from learning how to read. I stare at the same pictures every night in the hope that someday they will help me decipher the words. They are so familiar now. I keep hoping for the day that these pictures will help me figure out what is on the written page. Maybe I could distract her with this lego construction I am making. Perhaps that would put a smile on her face and she won't be so disappointed when I keep stumbling along those word that, when I keep looking at them the bigger they get but no clearer. Perhaps I could cheer her up with that funny joke I heard from Simon today. I wish she would admire my lego constructions and drawings the way she used to. I can still remember those cries of amazement and excitement when I showed her my latest creations. The way she used to talk to the neighbours about me, with all that pride in her voice. Does she still talk about me that way now? All those looks of satisfaction and pride gone forever, stolen by those books. Those obstacles to pleasing her which are always there. One day when I am big all of the looks of encouragement will be for me. They will smile at me for all the things that I can do and there will be no more looks of disappointment for all the things I can't do. And my sister will watch me with that envy in her eyes that I have when she reads those picture-less books and makes Mummy smile. I know she'd love me more if I could read like my sister even though my sister can't draw like me. Even though she can't build models like me. Even though she can't build models that can move and transform. Kill me tonight and I will love again |
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| © Copyright 2003 Zaynab Al Nasser - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Oh, this sure sounds like a sibling competition for mom's attention. Well done Zaynab! You have a very wonderful flowing writing style, and I am delighted to see you in this forum as well as the poetry forum! |
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Zaynab Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 59Kuwait |
Thankyou Midnitesun, its wonderful of you to take time to read and respond to all my pieces, i truly appreciate it. Take care Zaynab xxxxxxxx Kill me tonight and I will love again |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
well, if this was real, you have triumphed over her. Nicely done.  M |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Zaynab this was a very nice read! I think so much of our character is formed by how we are treated by our family when we are very young... And the older they get, the harder it is to undo the damage, or neglect, or simply just not enough love and attention, that they so need to grow up happy and loving... I have three son's myself... my oldest in his first year of college this year... Oh boy! Is there a lot there to write about...lol But heck... I'm still trying to write about my own childhood, to help me better put into perspective why I turned out so weird...lol Well any who... You take good care... We'll talk soon OK? Richy |
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Zaynab Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 59Kuwait |
nakdthoughts I'm happy to be able to say that I've never been in my position but unfortunately, my brother has, and I'm the sister in the poem. I felt terrible about it and I wondered what it was like to be in his shoes... this is what came of it. Glad you liked it xxxx Richy, Thankyou for taking the time to read this. Its nice to see so many understanding people on this board. But I must be honest here, this was about my brother, and I'm the evil sister who always got the attention and in fact still do. I love being centre of attention and luckily enough for me there's nothing I'm really disastrously bad at. My brother on the hand manages to fail half of the subjects at school, and has never really shown any talent at anything, other than drawing cartoons which my Dad doesn't see as being important. , so he doesn't get a lot of credit from my dad there (my and my mam try and make up for it but my dad's opinion has a big influence on all of us). Recently however, his trumpet playing is brilliant and we have the most fun doing duets (my littler brother tries to join us on his C clarinet... it would be lovely if he could get some notes out instead of squeeks, then maybe we could move on to getting him to play the actual notes!). Alora, time moves on, and we grow up and one day I'm sure we'll miss all the fights! Lovely to speak to you again. Sorry I couldn't reply sooner, I've got exams at the moment and this is the first break I've had in a while. Take care, Zaynab xxxxxxxx Kill me tonight and I will love again |
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