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A Step Forward...
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A Step Forward... |
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smalls Member
since 2002-12-20
Posts 62 |
A Step Forward… You know… I grew up completely unaware, or maybe I was as real as I'd ever be. Often times, I wish I stayed that way. I grew up in a majority white neighborhood and schools, a eurocentric experience. But I never thought about it until I became more subjected to it…That time when that kid called me "nigger" in school, or that time on the soccer field. Fast-forward my life ten years later and I would be more reactive to similar situations. I wouldn't take it lightly at all, although I'm supposed to be older and more mature. Maybe traditional definitions of mature leads you to stay quiet and pay no mind, I have learned otherwise. The more quiet we remain, the more taboo these concerns become, and the more uncomfortable we become in discussing them. This false picture painted of the Black male in this eurocentric society is something we are born into. Sadly saying, it could be considered part of our western American culture. I often times think, what if it's the quarter Filipino blood in me that just keeps me from being seen as the stereotypical Black guy? What if it's the Asian and White friends I grew up with that let me see into them just enough to realize…We are all the same, and for then to see into me, letting them realize the same? Could it be living under family and relatives of mixed ethnicity that helped me realize? We are innately good at birth, but false conditioning has polluted generations of thought. We know what is right because our heart releases this feeling called guilt when it knows we are wrong. Sadly enough, this one essay isn't **** compared to 400 years of false conditioning, starting when the first slave ships arrived to this "Good ol' USA." For no apparent reason, old eurocentric culture and interpretation of religion ended up stigmatizing Black people and considering our darker complexion to be a burden, or a sign of lower class. What god told you to enslave Black people and stigmatize their parents, children, and grand children for life on the basis of their skin color? You know why I speak of this conditioning and stigmatization? It's because I have found even myself at times making these same stereotypes towards Blacks. I have caught myself and can't help but think what non-Black people might be thinking. I, like many others, have been conditioned on the traditional eurocentric capacity conveyed through media and education. I think to myself, this is so unbelievable, although it's so real. Why couldn't White people or Asian people take this role? What if the tables were turned and this conditioning led us to believe that darker skin was a free pass and not a stop in jail pass? That leads me to my next point. What about these people who remain blinded, the peoples whose parent's parents told them, "Your lighter skin is better than their darker skin," the people who haven't been so fortunate as you and I to grow within modern perceptions of cultures and beliefs. We are generations deep in this thought, leaving a healthy Black male today still writing about it. I'm still writing about it because it's not just the word nigger that affects me. It's this eurocentric society I am living in that has us conditioned on this false capacity, a false capacity where your daughter has to think twice about bringing a Black male home, or where a Black male feels pressure to only date Black women. Can you honestly tell me in my face that the idea of marrying freely is something bad? Why have generations before frowned upon it? Is bringing two different cultures to the table awful? So you mean to tell me that her parents would get angry and disown her? Holy **** ! It's unfortunate that they haven't been exposed to the environments and teachings of today's capacity. To me, they are representatives of ancient thought outdated for today. They are catalysts of free love in this world, still accepting generations of early thought without the substance and capacities of what can be embraced today. In this eurocentric world, we promote the globalization of politics, commerce, and sport. But we hesitate on outwardly expressing the globalization of free love. We sit absorbed in a society that still continues to defend nations and cultures with armies that fight because they are told to, not because they believe killing is right. I heard a female of minority decent say, "Kobe Bryant is probably the only Black guy I would date because he is clean, well mannered, smart…" Wow, as to say other Black men are not! I also heard another female of minority decent say, "Why would Jennifer Lopez want Puff Daddy over Ben Afleck? Puff Daddy is dark and not as popular." Holy **** , you got to be joking me! It makes me very uncomfortable and I pretend to ignore hearing them because it's unfortunate that there are people who still think like that. So you mean to tell me, others and I alike still have a long ways to go as: a college graduate from the 12th best public university, drafted by the LA Galaxy professional soccer team, a published poet, and why not a model although I hate saying it, since Fila/Ferrari, Maxim Magazine, Wella/Sebastian, Dodge motor company, Motorola, and Tilly's shoe and clothing hired me. I should be floating high 30,000 feet above this "Good ol' USA" in this plane on my way to an all expenses paid trip to Florida, playing soccer with California's best, and staying at a beach front hotel. Truth is, I'm not. I can only imagine the psyche of men of a race that have not been so fortunate as many and I alike to experience what we have. We often live in fear of venturing out from under generations. This society has made laws, and reinforced norms and values through media and other communicative sources that hinder us from thinking for ourselves. Beginning from birth, we are told what is "acceptable." It's amazing that people pretend it still doesn't exist. It's funny that many of these concerns are discrete, or behind the back, never told to your face. If you were so adamant on your beliefs you would have no reason in not telling someone that you think you are too good for them. You know maybe it's just me…The type of person I am because of my experiences. Maybe a lot of people can't fathom my thoughts because they haven't been in my shoes. One thing I can't stand is being pre-judged on anything before someone really knows you to be so. It's like a cheap shot; an unfair chance that killed you before you even began to live. I feel that it's my calling to help erase the stereotypes and false conditioning placed upon the Black male. I'll end with this…A good friend of mine has a nephew (White) named James. James is a three year old boy that is partly raised by his grandfather, a minister, and his wife. Every time James sees me he says, "Lawwwwence" and runs and gives me a big hug, then grabs my hair. He has a speech impediment so sometimes it's hard to understand what he is saying, but his expression is so genuine and endearing. I was talking with his uncle about how James can make you smile any time of the day, no matter what mood. We were all once so innocent as James. It makes me think…That not until we are exposed to these negative values conveyed through parenting and society, we are unmasked and the genuine products of real love. Please check out my poetry online http://mysite.de/mrlawrencesmalls/ [This message has been edited by smalls (04-07-2003 03:11 PM).] |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Very interesting write - well done. |
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