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Words_of_Glitter
Member

since 2000-10-25

Posts 90
USA

0 posted 2002-12-09 01:07 AM

     Every time she sleeps over, he wakes her up at seven in the morning when he gets up to go to the bathroom. It's like clockwork. And every time, she lays there, beside him, while he sleeps. But she can't get back to bed. Maybe it's the uneasiness inside of her...creeping up. She always worries that his feelings will change and the more minutes that pass, the deeper her heart sinks into the relationship that she isn't even sure they have.
      The night before, in a drunken stupor, she brought up the subject, but before letting him know how she really felt, she passed out. But it's not the drunken conversations or the intoxicated making out that really gets to her...it is the morning. After silently lying and watching him sleep for three hours, she will find some way to rouse him gently and hope for the best.
     This particular Sunday morning it was a gentle scratch on the stomach, underneath the covers and the shirt. He grabs her hand and holds it, to let her know that he knows she's there and his feelings haven't changed. So with newfound courage, she will inch closer to his body until her nose is in the back of his neck. All she wants is to breath him in because he smells like comfort. And comfort is what she needs while she is thinking of his wavering feelings.
     He's finally awake and moving; rolls over. Pulls her closer to him and leans in a little. Checking...making sure that it's okay to give her a small kiss. And it is. She just looks into those brown eyes while he observes her. Oftentimes, proclaiming his observations and making her smile and blush and be elated that someone else noticed that when she laughs her eyes become tiny little slits and she has pretty nice legs.
    They will lie there until his fingers have the texture of her hair memorized and she knows how many freckles he has on his face. They will lie there until he knows exactly how many more days will pass before she turns twenty-one and she knows how many more days will pass before she can see him again. They will lie there until they are both absolutely certain that the night before was not purely a result of the Bud Light and until they both feel like it wasn't a mistake.
     He makes her feel beautiful and she hopes that when he looks at her, he can see the admiration (adoration) in her eyes, beyond the scared, pondering, apprehensive, glassy stare. He takes pictures of her...topless, but covered with a blanket. That same stare will show up during the developing, but she hopes that her picture won't get lost in the gallery of girls that hangs on his wall.

"Time really does fly by and no one knows where it goes, so if you have something to say or do, say or do it now."

Greeneyes617
Member

since 2000-11-22

Posts 329
Arkansas

1 posted 2002-12-10 02:39 PM

WOW, this sounds so much like my boyfriend and I.. Except the Bud Light, and the girl's pictures on the wall. I took care of those from the get go. I think I will add this to my libary. Great write.

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2002-12-11 10:39 AM

I thought that this was beautiful. The piece itself, but specifcally the woman. She's beautiful. Like little diners on a random highway that make the best chicken sandwich you've ever tasted beautiful. She's not perfect, but even better - she's precious. She's the pearl that someone plucked from a shell out of the ocean. And the most beautiful thing of all, is that she will always feel herself to be the shell.

Or at least, that was my interpretation.

Thanks for posting.

Life is where you look for it.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (12-11-2002 10:39 AM).]

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

3 posted 2002-12-11 10:18 PM

Wow. I would say more, but Jaime already said everything I was going to, and more eloquently too. This is an amazing piece of writing.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

Words_of_Glitter
Member

since 2000-10-25

Posts 90
USA

4 posted 2002-12-11 11:37 PM

Thanks for the comments, guys. I really appreciated them and they meant a lot, since this was the first short story I have ever written. I am glad you took the time to read it. =) Thanks again.

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