It was September now. The day was clear and chilly, yet still warm enough that no one had turned the heat on yet. This was Friday afternoon and everyone had plans for the week end.

Beth’s friend Mary had wanted her to go to a party. At the time she’d eagerly accepted the invitation. Now that it was getting closer, her nerves were kicking in. Mary was a good friend, even though Beth had only started hanging out with her within the past few weeks. Beth knew a lot of the people who were going to be there by name, but besides Mary there were maybe one or two other people there that she knew well enough to call friends. Large group gatherings had never really been her thing. But oh well.

The phone rang just thin and interrupted her train of thought. She ran to get it. “You ready? I’ll be there in five minutes to pick you up,” Mary said when Beth picked up.

“Yeah, I’ll wait for you outside.” They hung up the line.

It wasn’t as bad as she had feared. Besides Mary, Erin and Joe were there. The four of them were engaged in a discussion about various people they all knew from campus. Joe was telling a story of another party he had been to last weekend. Everybody had been drunk and stupid. “Like that’s not how everyone’s gonna get tonight,” Erin remarked and they all laughed.

“I’M GONNA KILL HIM!!!”

Everyone in the room turned to stare at the guy who uttered this phrase. Beth knew him and said so when Mary asked who he was. “That’s just Jamie. Ignore him, he’s always yelling about something.”
Jamie had lived across the street form Beth for as long as she could remember. Being seventeen, he was a year younger than she was. She saw him as nothing more than a loud, obnoxious, pain in the ass. How the hell had he gotten to be so popular? she wondered. Oh, that was right- - he was good looking, athletic and funny. At least that’s what a lot of other people thought. She didn’t share that opinion, mainly because she’d been the subject of too many of his jokes.

Not that they had been so bad. Come to think of it, they could’ve been a lot worse. It was just that she didn’t expect them, didn’t think they were funny, didn’t see why everyone else thought they were so funny and laughed while she stood there seething. Jamie was the kind of person who you could go up and say “Hello” to and he would turn it into a joke. Maybe she was just too sensitive about it—but now wasn’t the time to go into that. Jamie and whoever it was he wanted to kill started arguing and everyone else resumed their previous conversations.

Erin and Joe went outside. Mary said, “Hey, I’m gonna go talk to Lisa over there. I don’t think you know her, you want me to introduce you?”

No, Beth replied, she’d be fine. She’d go say hello to Caitlin and John from her psychology class. On her way across the room, though, she knocked into Jamie.

“Hey Beth.”

Surprised, she turned around. “Hello Jamie.” Then curiosity overcame her, and she asked, “Who was it that you were going to kill?”

Jamie laughed. “Tom. No biggie though. He and I are always fighting about something or other. It’s an everyday thing, we’re kinda used to it.”

“What have you been up to?” It seemed natural to ask.

Jamie replied that it was the same old different day. School was going okay and work sucked. His car was in the shop, he told her. Something was wrong with the engine. “It’s only about the fifty thousandth time it’s been in since I bought it. If it isn’t one thing it’s the next. Of course, that’s what happens when you pay $150 for it and you fixed it yourself.”

Beth nodded. “I don’t have a car. Not yet, not with school and everything else to pay for. Maybe someday but I don’t think for a long time. Sometimes I get to drive my mom’s but not often.”

Jamie laughed. “I never let anyone else drive my car! That’s probably what the problem is now. I let Tom drive it the other night because I was too drunk to get behind the wheel.”

“I’ve never been drunk.” She felt like a prude.

“Really? Oh, I’ve had that happen often enough. It’s almost easier to be that way, less to worry about.”

“Oh.” Now she was concerned. What did he mean one less thing to worry about? It had never occurred to her that he even would worry about anything.  Despite all their years living across the street from each others, she didn’t know Jamie. This was the first time she’d ever even talked to him for more than thirty seconds. She wasn’t an alcoholic and didn’t know anyone who was personally, but she remembered the time her brother Jude had been in the hospital from a drug over dose. But that had been different—he’d been clinically depressed and struggling with them for years. Everyone had known what was going on with him. Jamie—he was popular and athletic and always surrounded by friends. He never acted like he had any problems.  What was so upsetting for him that he would get drunk to escape it?

“Well good to talk to you Beth. I’ll see you around.” Jamie turned to join some of the other guys.

“Oh—yeah, see you.”

She didn’t feel contempt for him. Just that strange sort of ache she felt when she knew what someone was going through. Beth had always looked on Jamie as just another obnoxious guy. Now she felt guilty, realizing maybe there was something more.

Mary came up to her again just then. “Having fun?”

“Definitely.” Beth managed a smile.

She looked more closely. “Are you sure everything’s ok?”

Beth tossed her hair and laughed. “Of course. I’m glad I came tonight. Thanks for inviting me, how about you?”

“A blast.”

She was having fun. It had hurt to hear Jamie say what he had said. But it was good, she thought, to have your own preconceived notions knocked down to make room for better things. And it was always nice to find out something new about a person. Jude was doing fine now. Jamie would be someday too.

She knew it.

***This is the first time I have written fiction prose in years. Let me know what you think especially if you have any suggestions for improvement. Even though the character has my name this is comepletely made up and this did not really happen. Thanks***

Beth

[This message has been edited by skyshine (09-28-2002 10:27 PM).]

Thank you Larry! I had fun writing this. In a way it is true. There have been times when I've been just shocked to realize that sometimes people have deep problems hidden beneath the surface. I guess it's the same for every generation of teenagers though. I'm glad you liked it, thanks again!

--Beth

Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping.