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The Growth of a Son
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The Growth of a Son |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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The Growth of a Son By Larry Chadwick A true experience. It was an enlightening day when I finally figured out what my dad’s flaws were. After all I had some practice at being a parent. My dad had not found a way to correct these problems and clear things up between us. It seemed only appropriate that I should offer him my assistance through these newly acquired insights. So I set about preparing a letter that would list my complaints line by line. Common, I believe, to many young men was the challenge that their fathers are so consistently distracted by their careers and the time constraints that creates. There was a certain element of satisfaction when I prepared and sent my letter. It was the response that I had not expected. My dad willingly acknowledged his weaknesses. I was even less prepared for the details of his own childhood that revealed parenting skills of far lesser ability than I was trying to correct in his parents. My dad was modeling things he had never personally experienced. And I was seeing for the first time that he was doing it much better than I was willing to give him credit. Again my dad was finding opportunity to educate his eldest. I was compelled to concede to my father that he was doing a good job of parenting. And over the years this lesson helped me appreciate my dad’s parenting. It seems I had chosen my parents better than I had assumed. The phone rang the other day. It was a pleasant surprise to hear my son’s voice. I always love it when he calls. It turns out he had an agenda. He wanted me to know that my parenting skills had greatly improved in the past year and he really appreciated it. I remember being that age but didn’t realize that my turn was coming. Funny, but in evaluating the past year I discovered nothing had really changed. Well…at least not in my techniques. Interesting isn’t it how each generation matures in such similar ways. Nothing beats having a capable father. August 22, 2002 (Rest in peace.) If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. [This message has been edited by Larry C (08-22-2002 04:17 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Your humilty touches me ... your insight teaches me. Thank you for that wise poet.  jm In the space between now and then |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Thank you for this inspirational read. It seems things do eventually come around that go around, its just that sometimes it seems to take a little longer. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
JM, Thank you and your kind words overwhelm me.  Gemini, So true, and thanks for reading.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. [This message has been edited by Larry C (08-23-2002 12:19 PM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
You are wonderful, a wise old owl. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kacy, Maybe...but I have learned that wisdom comes with much pain. Thanks. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I am sorry for your pain. It would be wonderful if life would settle down for a while, and let you catch your breath. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Larry, thank you for the floodgates. Daughters do this, too. My mother called once to tell me "all that was going wrong" and I proceeded to tell her in my newly-found-adult-status-of-being-treated-like-an-equal what I perceived to be her "small" shortcomings and how best to correct the situation. Have you ever heard silence thud? She had not called to receive a bandaid, she had called to unload and have someone whom she thought could be a shoulder "just LISTEN". I forget exactly how many months went by before she talked to me again, and even then, it was stilted. Gladly, and luckily for me, I learned from that, and she finally found comfort in sharing with me [a long time down the road, but it came]. Unless asked for, I have never offered advice since. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kacy, You know me...no pity requested. But your sympathy I glady accept! Thanks. Karilea, Funny how so many of us have been in that place. But it does feel odd to have your children repeat the cycle on you. Experience...what a wonderful thing. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I'm not a parent yet but I'll keep this in mind for when I am. Thank you for the wisdom in this Larry. God bless!  --Beth Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
You are an awesome Dad. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Beth, Aw. You make me feel so good. Especially about your generation! I sure do like you a lot. Thanks.  Kellie, Thank you. It's the greatest thing of my life. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Oh Larry, This is just fantastic! I don't have any experience in being a father, but I'm sure you have done a beautiful job with your son. I know you loved your father very much....may he rest in peace! Love you Cindi God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I had a father who never shortchanged us of his presence. He was loving, kind and my mother's strengths covered his weaknesses. I was so lucky. My children weren't that lucky and my one regret is that they did not have the benefit of a caring, present father. Your children must really appreciate you as you did your father. Very nice writing, as usual. |
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poohbear19 Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94Colorado, USA |
Your humilty touches me ... your insight teaches me. I don't even know my dad. Andrea |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Cindi, You don't have the right equipment...thank goodness! And thank you for such kind words. Yup, miss my pops. SPIRIT, Oh the unfairness of life. I'm sure your children have taken great strength from their mom. But always hard times do have benefits. And thank you for such kindness. Andrea, Wow, welcome to Passions. How fun to find you in Prose. And thank you for such kindness. Peace and courage to you. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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