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Brother Bother
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Brother Bother |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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Brothers! Who'd have them. I know I wouldn't, given a choice but my parents seemed to thrive on having children and I have been blessed with having FOUR brothers. Four! Can you believe it? How unlucky can one person get? I also have two sisters but that's no problem because the twins are babies still and give me no hassles. My older brother Jason is the biggest reason I hate brothers. He is supposed to be my bigger brother but he has weed blood in him, he is shorter than me, stunted and spotted in appearance, with nothing to commend him to the eye and I hate the way he has short persons attitude. You'd think that after nine years together he'd have grown out of it, but no! Every time we sit at the dinner table he jabs me in the ribs with his sharp, boney elbows that are calloused from all the jabbing at people, especially me and whispers, just loud enough for them all to hear. ?Better eat quickly little sis, by the time the food reaches your stomach it will have to travel another six inches.? My family laugh, they always do and I sit and glower at those brothers sitting directly across from me, Justin and James turn away embarrassed but Julian just grins and eats contentedly. He is like a cow chewing cud nothing ever bothers him and like a cow, as long as he can be in the vicinity of others he doesn't have to participate in the mini tragedies I am exposed to everyday. He is oblivious to all that goes on around him. "Eat and sleep," I say to him "and one day the world will end and you will have slept through it." He laughs half heartedly knowing the joke is on him and I smile into my soup as my mother scolds me. I think she does not know what to do with us, we are aliens to her, children of her body but as foreign as the Greeks who live down the road and as strange in our culture as a blue moon. She gave birth to us but does not understand us and hence we have spent much of lives in the great outdoors; at first confined to the spacious back yard but later as we grew, we were free to explore the wider world. The only curfew on our freedom is the edict that we are home for tea at six. We are wild children the five of us - the seven, if you count Julia and Jessie, who occasionally venture in the wonder of 'outdoors' on their tottering feet and sturdy legs they have not yet learned of the joy and freedom of going beyond the gate but in a year or so they will, then we will be required to take them with us on our jaunts. What a royal pain that will be! We explore the wilds of our neighbourhood with abandon, paddling in the muddy creek that runs past our backyard and used to be a river before the drought but now is reduced to a shadow of its former self. It winds slowly, sluggishly and we have found treasures in its depths. I found a headless Barbie and made up wonderful stories of how she met her doom. Julian found an unopened bag of lollies sodden by the water and yet insulated by their waxen wrappings. He ate them all before we could stop him and his technicolour spew afterwards was a wonder to behold, we had not known before that just how far and how much projectile vomiting one person could do. He amazed us with his endurance as pale and shaking we returned him to mother's enfolding arms only to have him return an hour later and again pursue with us the explorations that satisfied our base curiosity for a time. There was the dead fish washed up, its eyes fixed and staring as it slowly lost its iridescent sheen in death, we were fascinated with that for days until the stench kept us at a distance and we made the signs of aversion the crossed fingers and held breath as we passed on our way to greater wonders. I guess it was the fish that caused my annoyance towards my brother Jason to blossom into full-blown malice. I would never have thought him capable of such an awful deed. One day we went to the creek and the rotting remains of the fish had disappeared, probably washed back into the bowels of the earth I thought and then dismissed the fish as insignificant as I went about my play. When I found it in my bed that night I was horrified, I screamed in terror and it took both my mother and father several hours to calm me and still my hysterical sobs that echoed through the old house long after the actual noise had stopped. On the way to my parents' bedroom for more comfort I heard my brother's stifled giggles. I knew it had to be Jason he and I are the only ones who have our own rooms, him because he's the oldest and me because until the twins came along I was the only girl and it didn't do to have boys and girls sleeping together. When the twins grow a bit they will be moved from my parents' bedroom and will share with me. I am not looking forward to that, not one little bit. As I lay in the warmth and comfort of mother's queen size bed, I could not sleep; instead I plotted revenge and smiled into the darkness, a feral smile that was all teeth claws and savagery as I thought of the perfect revenge. Frogs would not do, neither would tapioca pudding, short sheeting the bed has been done and would not suffice, neither would it do to put his hands in warm water as he slept, so that he wet the bed. It had to be something spectacular. Finally an idea came to me an idea so bad I chortled silently under the covers my body shaking with glee. There would be payback but not soon for I wanted to savour the feeling of glee as I gloated over what I would do. My mother believing I was crying held me close, an added bonus for me. The butcher and I were good friends. When I told him we had a new project for school he offered me hearts, lungs, spleens ? they smelt awful - and intestines. It was a fabulous collection and I prepared them carefully making sure the bucket was nearly full but not full enough to slosh. I knew Jason would open his wardrobe before he went to bed he always did he couldn't sleep without kissing his mirror and telling himself how handsome he was, if you ask me he should do this more often because it's the only way he's ever going to hear it. My trap set; the wobbly shelf and the wardrobe door firmly closed would spring it. I strolled nonchalantly into the dining room where the table was set, the others were washing up as it was close to six but there was no sign of food on the table. Mother looked particularly pleased and informed us she had invited the local rector to dinner, because he wanted to talk to Jason about becoming an altar boy. I snorted at this but managed not to say anything believing discretion is the better part of valour and always a good move if you don't want your bottom warmed by father's hands. The rector arrived, he is a prissy man, fussy and inquisitive, not curious like us but inquisitive in a nasty way. He went upstairs to wash and soon the house resounded with screams. I knew immediately what had happened and ran out the door to escape; that was a bad move because it immediately proclaimed my guilt to everyone. And it didn't help in the long run that the sight of the rector dripping giblets and gore onto mother's polished floors sent me into fits of laughter. Bottom warming was going to be the order of the day. I maintain though if he hadn't been snooping where he should not have he would not have got in the line of fire; natural justice I call it, my parents called it something else entirely, something not repeatable in public. It's been a month and my grounding ends tomorrow however I may forever bear the scars of dishpan hands, not to mention perpetual disgust at having to clean up the messes in my brother's room until the grounding is done. Still I've left a few surprises for Jason and he should discover them in about a week That will be interesting and I look forward to it in anticipation. In the meantime I think - brothers! Who'd have them, they are more bother than they're worth. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh this was simply a delightful tale. I had no family to speak of so I find stories like this one so light and full of fun! I actually gasped when he got hit with the water, do you know that? Good writing when I react thus. I really enjoyed this story. I pass this way but once, here's hoping I meet you. |
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BlueEyes Member
since 2002-08-30
Posts 152TX, USA |
I loved it! You had me going the entire story! I was "blessed" with 2 brothers (bothers).... so I can tell exactly where this is coming from. Good work! |
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Wanda Member
since 2001-10-23
Posts 461 |
I loved this. I enjoyed every word and was sitting here laughing at the rector. Vengence is sweet, but oftimes it backfires. hehehe Wonderful writing. Wanda |
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Sharon