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Why the long face?
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Why the long face? |
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JamesBowie Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 252big old Bangor Maine up by the shack |
The other day I was feeling rather good about myself. I talked to a young woman, who while I was talking could not take her eyes off of me the entire time. And as I walked into the mens room I noticed IT dangling from a long nose hair. Yes a booger so long and crusted that it must have been sculpted by the most industrious mucus glands, and set out for display as a national booger pride work exhibit. Of course this changed my view of everything that had occurred that day, the smiles when I passed were not because of my stunning good looks, no they were nose chandelier derived guffaws at my expense. As I tried to remove the booger, I found that it was quite stubborn and had to resort to bare finger nail scraping of the hair base that was holding it together with much to much tenacity for a normal hair. And as I stood there with my finger up my nose, my boss walked in, seeing me for the first time he thought for what I truly was, as he made a face and turned into a stall closing the door. I paused in my digging as a tear ran down my cheek, not from the embarrassment but from the pain of removing such a deeply entrenched booger. When I finally pulled it free, I stood there breathing hard and slightly bent over like Quasimodo, looking at the bloody booger I had just dug out when my boss re-emerged from the toilet. God help me for what he thought for I could only imagine what I looked like bent over and gasping while holding outstretched on my finger, a dripping bloody booger. I started towards him to try to explain but he turned and fled out of the door, and in my hurry to follow him I struck my head against the doorframe and fell to the ground. In slow motion my arm struck the ground elbow first as my hand bounced outward and then smacked against the cold granite floor, with the booger dripping from my curled finger. When I came to, I found myself here in this room with its pretty soft white walls and a window much to high for me to look out of. For some this would be the end, but I still had, stuck to the end of my finger, my only friend in the world now, a crusty remnant of the booger. And I vowed they would never take anything else from me, including my friend. He He He He He, Huh? |
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MinisterJoe New Member
since 2002-05-20
Posts 8Texas |
James, this is probably the single best example of "booger fiction or non-fiction..." I've ever read.  And to answer the question it is possible to laugh and go ewww at the same time. You made your booger--that monster booger--a character...lol You've got a sarcastic edgy angle to your descriptions, which I felt worked very nicely in this piece. A comedy errors starring a booger--thanks for the read James, you made me laugh this morning. --Joe |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
OMG... when i stop laughing, i think... i'll probably laugh some more... awww... poor guy.  |
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