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Passions in Prose

your average beauty queen

leafseranade
Member

since 2001-07-06

Posts 118
Wisconsin, USA

0 posted 2001-08-23 05:29 PM

Meet Elizabeth. She's your average beauty queen. Scan her bedroom wall and you'll find 22 blue ribbons hanging all in a row and three trophies on a hand made shelf just to hold them. Scan the floor and you'll see it's been freshly vacuumed. All the laundry's been put away. You'll notice a light on in the bathroom and you'll hear the toliet flush. Elizabeth finally makes her entrance. You've been wondering what she looks like. Her red eyes tell nothing but you start to wonder. Don't you think that's all she's been doing too?

paladin

Senior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

1 posted 2001-09-09 11:06 AM

I was confused by the last line.The story was descriptive but did not seem to make a point.I think it needs some more development.

paladin

Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

2 posted 2001-09-10 09:46 PM

I think I see where you're going here with this story, and I happen to agree with that perspective, but must agree with paladin. This story may need some fleshing out. Though your open ended statements and description immediately got my mind rolling.

"They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine

Bec
Member

since 2001-02-23

Posts 475
Canberra

3 posted 2001-10-03 11:36 PM

leafseranade...
I must agree with paladin, I'm not sure what you mean by that last sentence. But it's a great idea, and the beginnings of a great story.
Bec

The past is a foreign country - they do things differently there ~ Unknown

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